My thoughts about Santa Claus and Elf on the Shelf

Even though the leaves are just now starting to change in my area of Pennsylvania, Christmas is already on a lot of peoples' minds. I am already hearing how many weeks are left to shop and "get ready" for Christmas festivities. (I could get into a monologue about the true meaning of Christmas, but I'll leave that for another post)

If you know me, you have probably figured out that I have a hard time keeping quiet when I feel like there is something that needs to be said. With all of this talk about "playing Santa", and finding new hiding places for the "Elf on the Shelf", I would like to add my own thoughts. I realize this will probably be an unpopular post, and, disclaimer, I am NOT trying to offend anybody who reads this, but I feel the need to share why David and I will not have our future children believe in Santa Claus or Elf on the Shelf. 

First of all, society is obsessed enough with material possessions as it is. It feels like every Christmas must be more and more extravagant than the last, and we have to start shopping earlier, and, hey, lets add a creepy new tradition of putting an Elf on the shelf to spy on our kids for Santa...and as if that's not enough, let's move the elf around the house each night and have it do mischievous things like break a dish or knock over a container of flour and leave foot prints (not kidding, some people take it that far)...

You may be thinking that I don't know what I am missing, but you're wrong.

I DID grow up believing in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy etc... To a child, what could be more exciting than a magical being that gives us gifts?! I got some great gifts from "Santa", and was always amazed that I could never catch a glimpse of him, no matter how hard I tried.  I still remember the evening that I found out Santa wasn't real. I was furious, not just because I was mad that in the universe there did not exist a jolly fat man that brings children presents, but also at my parents for lying to me about it. "If you lied to me about this, what else did you lie to me about? How do I know anything you say is true?". Yes, I was a very dramatic and inquisitive child. Now, this experience didn't scar me for life or anything, but it did ruin that innocent belief that I could trust everything my parents told me.

David did not grow up believing in Santa. He knew that Santa was a "fun pretend tradition" for the holiday, and that it was not his place to tell other children the truth, it was their parents' job.

In this cruel and unpredictable world we live in, I believe children should be able to trust their parents. It's our job to be their teachers, and to set the example for them to follow. I just don't feel right about carrying out a lie year after year, and having to make it more and more extravagant so that they continue to believe when their intelligent minds start to question its validity.

This leads me to my next reason:

I don't want to ever have a moment where my children say to David and I, "If you lied to me about Santa being real, did you lie to me about Jesus too?" It would be hard to restore my credibility after a question like that.

Even if you aren't a Christian, you can see how lying to our children destroys their ability to have faith in what we say. Not only that, but using Santa or the Elf on a Shelf as a threat to make children behave, is, in my opinion, just a crutch for proper parenting (Not to mention I find Elf on the Shelf to be incredibly creepy - I don't want my kids worrying that a little doll is watching them all day and reporting their behavior to Santa). Children shouldn't behave just to earn gifts, or out of fear from the threat that gifts will not be given if they are bad! I don't want my children thinking that they "deserve" or are entitled to a reward for being good or obeying their parents either.

Finally, my most important reason: Christmas is about JESUS! It's the celebration of Christ's birth, or at least it is supposed to be. I want to make sure that the traditions my children take away from Christmas are: celebrating God's Son coming into this world to be our Savior, being together as a family, a beautiful candlelight church service, and sure, exchanging a few gifts with each other - in that order! Yes, we will still do presents on Christmas, but they will be addressed from their proper gift givers - David and I -  the people who actually do care if they behave, and who love them, and want them to have good things in life - NOT Santa.

As far as addressing your fears that my children will ruin Santa for your children. David and I hope to raise friendly respectful children that will be told not to ruin other families' traditions.  No promises, but we really aren't trying to spoil everyone else's fun! 

So there it is, the reasons that our future children will not believe in Santa Claus or Elf on the Shelf. Again, this is my own opinion and belief. It is not meant to upset anybody who does enjoy the tradition of Santa. This post is not supposed to start an argument either. It's just my own outlet for my opinion. It's supposed to be  food for thought. 

A Beautiful Walk with my Bible App

Dave is at drill today, flying till very late tonight. I've got a listening ear to the skies for the "wop wop wop.." of a helicopter, in case he flies over the house (we live in the flight path of Fort Indiantown Gap's helicopters). What do I do when Dave is gone on a beautiful Saturday? Cleaning for most of the day, since the place usually needs it after a week of me working - somehow I always get a lot more done when Dave isn't here. However, today the sunshine was calling to me, and finally convinced me that I needed to be outside. I sat out in a lawn chair for a while tanning, and listening to the Book of Esther in the Bible. Then I decided that I should go for a walk, and get some exercise even though it's a lot less fun without Dave.

I did several laps around the park and down Main street, saw my brother and sister in law who were also out enjoying the day, and listened to most of the Book of Job. The Bible app on my phone is AWESOME. It has audio versions of the Bible, and the reader is excellent. It's helping me get through the Old Testament and finally meet my goal of finishing the Bible that I set over a year ago. 

So there I was taking care of my body and my soul, on a great walk, on a perfect afternoon... it struck me that listening to Job was really powerful. Sometimes when I read I am not getting the full impact of the words, but listening to the story, and Job's lament really caught my attention. It was like he was walking next to me, pouring out his troubles.

That's the awesome thing about The Bible. These stories are real. They are about real people who had emotions, struggles, and who lived lives that didn't always go as they had planned. Many of these people did amazing things through their faith in God. When I was listening to Esther and Job, I was noticing similarities to my own life, and identifying with some of their emotions. I'm so thankful to have The Bible, not just for it's instruction, or for God's Word, but to read the stories of people who lived thousands of years ago,  who struggled with the same things we struggle with today, and who believed in the the same God. 

Lately my goal has been to work on renewing my mind by changing the things I am putting in it. Listening to and reading the Bible, Worship and Praise music on my commutes and while I exercise, deciding against a vulgar popular movie on Netflix, and trying to be more positive in my outlook and interactions with others, and trying to pray more often throughout the day. It has made a huge difference for me, and I would recommend trying this for anyone who has been feeling negative or "down in the dumps".

FYI - this is what the Bible App I use looks like

Summer 2013

Summer 2013.... quite possibly more life changes than Summer 2012!

The last time I had a chance to post, David had graduated Flight School, and we had moved back to PA to live with his parents until we found jobs and a place to live. 

In May we had fun buying our first furniture sets, but we had to post pone delivery as we didn't have a place to live yet. Job hunting was stressful and we were anxious to get our lives figured out (if that's even possible - lol). In June we began apartment hunting, and found a townhouse that we really loved. We wanted to sign the lease but were afraid to do so since neither of us had jobs yet and we didn't want to blow through our savings just to have our own place again. Just when we thought we were going to have to give up the townhouse, I was called to interview for a job I had applied for months earlier. The interview went well, and as I was getting in my car to go home, I got a call back that they wanted to offer me the job! God's timing was perfect, not only did I get a really great job, but we were able to move into a beautiful home before I started work! 

Dave was gone the week we moved to Linglestown, so his mom helped me clean our new place and move everything in. We spent the week scrubbing and unpacking. Lucky Dave, he returned home and all the unpacking had already been done!   

Our cute little place! It's perfectly situated to be about a 15 minute drive for each of us to get to work (give or take traffic), close to shopping centers, and across the street from a beautiful park. We are also right off the main street that has cute little shops and places to eat. Dave and I take a walk every night, and enjoy seeing all of the sports teams practicing at the park, in what seems to be a very active community. We can see ourselves staying here long term and raising a family! We are also 5 minutes down the road from David's brother and his wife! Another reason to love the area is that we get to see helicopters flying overhead - not as many as at Fort Rucker, but still enough to get excited about! 

Dave's Mom was a huge help to me during our second move of the summer. She even mowed our lawn! (Real world...having a lawn to mow)

 Living/dining area (not fully unpacked in this one)

My adorable and very helpful husband in the kitchen. 

Unpacked living room. It's very cozy!

Here's our bedroom. We bought our bedspread more than a year ago and I was absolutely dying to get it set up. It looks great with the bedroom set David surprised me with :)

We have a guest room, so friends and family are welcome to stay!

On one of our walks we found a church that is just down the road from our house, we decided to check it out since we were church shopping. We absolutely loved it, and are happy to have what we think will be our church home. For someone who grew up driving an hour to church on Sundays, being able to walk to church is amazing! 

First day of work! Kendall Berry, BSW! 

Now to say a few things about my new job... I love it! I had a difficult transition back to working, but it has absolutely been the best thing for me. Like they say, "For everything there is a season". I spent almost a year not working when we were in Alabama. I needed that time to relax and de-stress after burning myself out senior year of college, and being incredibly stressed all summer planning our wedding and dealing with some difficult things that happened. That time was precious, I gained back all the weight I had unintentionally lost from stress and anxiety the previous year, and I was able to focus on my new role as a wife. I cooked, cleaned, supported David while he was in a critical part of Flight School, and got to read more than thirty books! I volunteered at a senior center, but didn't need to worry about working yet. All of this was great, but I became very inactive. I didn't have a car, so I mostly stayed home, slept in late, read books, took naps, and got to be really lazy. I noticed that I didn't have much energy, and I didn't want to do anything when Dave got home from school either. I honestly thought there was something wrong with me that made me feel so tired and antisocial (there was! it's called inactivity!). I worried that I wouldn't be able to work because I was so tired all the time!  I've discovered that attitude and environment are everything!

I started my new job in July- Social Worker at a nursing home in Harrisburg. The first several weeks my body hated me. It was used to sleeping in, naps and lounging around. I felt sick, and tired for a few weeks. My heart rate felt like it was constantly elevated because just walking around all day was exertion for a body that was used to being at rest. But my body adjusted! I started coming home with more energy than I ever had after a day of relaxing! I spend my day on my feet running back and forth between my Dementia/Alzheimer's floor, and my Long Term Care floor. I'm surrounded by great people. I make an effort to be positive and smile when I am at work, and listen to positive and uplifting music on my commutes. This has made a night and day difference for me - now that I am active, positive, smiling, doing something meaningful, and being mentally stimulated - I feel like myself again! I haven't felt so wonderful in at least a year, and I feel so incredibly happy and blessed to be back to the positive mindset I've always had. 

The real world is definitely a little scary. This is my first real job, and I am slowly figuring out what I am doing. Sure, I have a degree, but there are so many job specific things that I am learning. I can't wait till I feel like I am on top of my work responsibilities! Dave has been a huge help. He has a sporadic flying schedule, so he has been supporting me by making me breakfast in the morning (I am NOT a morning person), and getting dinner started before I get home. With my new-found energy we have been a lot more spontaneous with our free time too! 

 We went on a trip to Memorial Lake on base to watch the sunset one evening. 

 Last night we met David's parents at their camp site at Gifford Pinchot State park for a camp fire, Mountain Pies, S'mores and a nice relaxing evening with family. 

 See the Mountain Pie maker in the coals?

Dave is super excited about Mountain Pies!

We are coming up on our ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!! Stay tuned!

This Summer flew by! As the mornings have gotten chillier, I am remembering that this is the North, and I will have to deal with a Norther winter soon :( Good thing Fall comes first. I can totally get into sweater and boots season!

Annual Training

Dave is at AT right now - his two week summer training for the National Guard. Sometimes I feel like the worst army wife in the world. I know so many brave, strong ladies that have months to wait for their soldier to get back from a war zone, and I can't stand Dave being gone for his monthly drill weekends, let alone two whole weeks! I have a lot to learn from those women if it becomes my time to truly be apart from my husband.

Though most of our relationship had been long distance, the last 9 months of marriage (yes! NINE already!) have really spoiled me.  Particularly this last month and a half, where we literally were with each other every second of every day.

I can't wait for Dave to get home! Thankfully I have great friends, and a mother-in-law who is now on summer vacation, and will do stuff with me to take my mind off of missing Dave! Today we went on a Girl's Day trip to Lancaster county, where we went to some of the places we have read about in our favorite Amish series by Beverly Lewis. It's so fun to share interests and to be so close with my mother-in-law, I know that not everyone is so blessed.

Mom Berry and I at Good n' Plenty eating an Amish style lunch before checking out quilt shops and hand crafted furniture! 

I love this picture from Amish Country! 

Our life since Alabama - This one is gonna be lengthy!

Here are a few updates about the crazy month since we move back from LA (Lower Alabama -haha!) It's going to be a lengthy post! :

I pretty much cried every day leading up to moving away from our first home in Alabama. Yes. This Yankee wishes she was a Southern girl! I love all of the people I met down South, and I want to stay in the beautiful weather! Not to mention I got offered my dream job at the Senior Center I was volunteering at, and we were about to head into the great unknown of having no jobs.

Graduation week was crazy, and awesome, and busy!

Here is a picture from the military ball before graduation. Photo Credit: Ross Rippy

 Dave's parents came down for the week. Here we are enjoying Family Day!

 Dave flying and me shooting :)

We had a lot of fun seeing the Apaches up close, and Dave even got us into the simulator to practice flying them!

Dave's dad is a bit of a celebrity in the flying community.  Back in his Navy Fighter Pilot days, he and another pilot were the ones who actually flew upside down over an enemy plane to take a picture of the cockpit. This move was made famous in the movie Top Gun, but they were not credited for it. He enjoyed giving out autographed copies of the real picture to Dave's flight school friends. He was even able to give one to the Aviation Museum down there! 

I was the proudest wife alive when David was made Distinguished Honor Grad for the Apache class, and I got to pin on his long awaited wings! I love him to pieces!

 Pinning the wings on!

 So proud 

More than 6 years of hard work went into getting those wings! 

"Flying High, Above the Best!"

After the wings were pinned, the Army Song sung, and pictures taken, things moved in a blur. Dave ran around getting out-processed from Fort Rucker, and the rest of us worked on packing our apartment and literally stuffing everything into two vehicles. It was only by the grace of God that we got everything to fit, and that the cloth top of the Jeep didn't explode. We couldn't have done it without Dave's parents. Dad Berry was on his feet all day fitting our things into cars like a big puzzle, and Mom Berry (who amazingly actually enjoys helping people move) helped me get our place looking even better than we found it! Our landlord was happy with the furniture we had to leave behind, and we got our full security deposit back ! Ka-ching! 

I literally "busted my butt" getting ready to move. The washing machine was spinning out of control and I got the bright idea that sitting on it would fix it. So I hopped right up and banged my tailbone, which sure made the 18 hour car ride comfortable... (my tailbone is actually still bothering me). 

Tired and sad to leave our first home

The car ride to PA went really well considering how tightly packed and loaded down the cars were. Dave's poor Jeep will need a new soft top. His driver side window actually came unstitched and he had to hold it closed with one hand until we could tape it all together again. We couldn't talk to each other because it was as loud as a hurricane driving on the interstate!  The highlight of our two day journey was seeing our good friends Lee and Amanda for breakfast after the best hotel stay ever at the Resident's Inn (seriously the most comfortable hotel I have ever stayed at). 

 See what I mean?

It's hard to believe a month and a half has gone by. I had forgotten how lovely the mountains of Pennsylvania are, and how wonderful it is to be around friends, family, and familiar places! I am also glad to be in a place where I don't have to hide in my bath tub when "severe" weather comes through! We have been super busy with job searches, Army stuff, Dave's brother's wedding, and going to MA to visit my family. 

We have been living at Dave's parents house until we find jobs. It has been a joy to be with family and to make up for lost time. We are a bit tight with all of our things piled in the basement and in our bedroom, but we couldn't be more thankful for a place to live and a home full of love. We are excited to find a place, especially when we see all of the unused wedding gifts that didn't come to Alabama with us. I am itching to get at my waffle maker and absolutely dying to use the bedspread we purchased over a year ago. Because we don't want to disturb our boxes till we have a place, we have been living out of the same overnight bag of clothes that we threw together for our move, so I am also psyched to wear something new! Dave and I bought a new mattress and a couch set that will not be delivered till we have an apartment. So basically, we have furniture and lots of stuff, but still need to work on finding a place to put it in!

 I've been interviewing for jobs left and right, with no luck so far. I know there are so many other college grads in my position, wondering if we will ever get a chance to use our expensive degrees. Someday when I am in charge of hiring new employees, I am going to remember how hard it was to be unemployed and not have people return phone calls, or let you know when they didn't choose you for a position. I'm considering babysitting for the summer so that we can have some money coming in. 

PennDot is seriously THE WORST. I went to get my PA license and it was a NIGHTMARE. Not only was the guy super rude to Dave, who happened to be uniform at the time, but he acted like I was some sort of criminal. I had my MA license, birth certificate, passport, marriage license, social security card,  military id, and affadavit from Dave saying I live with him, and that was not enough to prove that I live in PA! Apparently being married to a PA resident doesn't mean that I am living with him. So I had to go home and have friends write me letters to my new PA address. THEN,when I go back with all required documents, the guy tells me "I doubt this will go through. You are from MA which makes you a suspect". Me: "seriously?". Him: "Yes. And you will have to pass an FBI and CIA background check". (Me? A suspect?) Thankfully I passed and, to the disappointment of the employee helping me, was issued a license for the great state of Pennsylvania. They also made my life hard about getting plates for my car. 

We flew to Massachusetts for a brief visit with my family. We had a lovely time, and got to see my favorite ocean town on the East coast - Rockport. (Of course the South has turned me into an absolute beach snob, so I almost cried when I put my toes in the freezing cold Atlantic ocean). We got to see my brother get promoted after his time in boot camp. I am so proud of him! We did a camp fire up at Pineshore with friends - drinking Wachusett Summers at Wachusett, and eating the first S'mores of the season. The best part of being home was relaxing with family in my parents comfortable and welcoming house, and not having to think about wedding details like the last time I was home! We were sad to go!

 Even though my Moby the blue whale of a minivan has been more trouble than it is worth, I was so incredibly happy to be driving it again. We drove it home to PA and are enjoying having two vehicles again.

 A picture from Gus's promotion ceremony

 Rockport! Mary Poppins style!

Now we are back in PA, and Dave is at his two weeks of summer training. 

Comments

A few of you may have noticed that you are no longer able to comment on my blog.  Sorry guys, but this is one of those situations where the actions of a few mess things up for everyone else...

I keep this blog for friends and family who want to hear about my life, and also because I enjoy putting my thoughts and experiences out there. I like to pretend that I have avid readers who can't wait to hear about my next adventure (even if that is probably a bit of a stretch). :) I've taken a break from blogging this past month mostly because I have been incredibly busy, but also because I got a nasty round of comments that ruined blogging for me for a bit.

I got several nasty comments this spring that honestly left me in tears. There was one in particular that ripped Dave and I to pieces and left me shocked. I spent several days obsessed with looking through my Facebook friends and trying to figure out who would write those kind of things, because, yes, whoever did was cowardly and left his or her thoughts anonymously. (Really people? Can't you own up to your words if that's what you really think?)  My hope is that those several comments were actually just incredibly bored strangers that stumbled upon my blog and decided to ruin my day. 

So here's the deal: No more comments on my blog, but feel free to contact me personally if you want to chat about a post. Also, if you don't like me, or if you don't like hearing what is going on in my life, please feel free to stop reading my blog!

Okay, enough of that serious stuff. Thank you to all of my friends and family who read and support my blog, I hope you continue to enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it! 

Rest In Peace

Just wanted to take a moment to honor two men that lost their lives today in Afghanistan. Both men were Apache pilot's from Dave's unit in PA. I pray that the families of both of those men find comfort in such a difficult time.

I honestly can't imagine how devastating this lost must be for the wives of these men, but it sure hits close to home.

Here is the news story:
http://www.abc27.com/story/21932242/2-pa-national-guard-soldiers-killed-in-afghanistand

Proud Wife

As we near graduation from flight school, Dave is require to return his training equipment, including the  helmet that he used from his first Apache flight, to his final check ride. I think it's a bit like saying goodbye to an old friend, even knowing that he will be issued a new one at his unit when we get to Pennsylvania.

I'm so proud of my guy. Becoming an Apache pilot has been his dream for years -  it took 6 long years of paying his dues to get to flight school, and then an incredible amount of dedication to make it through the program. In three weeks, I will have the huge honor of pinning wings on his chest - the symbol of an Army Aviator. I couldn't be more proud if I tried. 

We recently discovered two cool date correlations that made us smile:

* Dave's first flight of flight school was March 26th 2012, and his last flight was March 26th 2013 - exactly one year apart! 

* The date Dave got his civilian helicopter license was May 2nd, and the date of his flight school graduation, earning his wings, and becoming an Army helicopter pilot will also be May 2nd. 

Making these discoveries felt like a little confirmation that this has all been part of a greater plan for Dave's life. 

I can't wait to pin those wings! 

Here's a picture of the painting we just bought a copy of and had framed as an early graduation gift: 

This painting is called "Deliverance" by Dru Blair. It is one of Dave's favorites. 

Summer Jams

Down here in Alabama, Spring has sprung and Summer is on its way!

Monday I went on a walk with a friend and then sat out in the sun to start working on my tan. I got burnt on both shoulders, but I welcomed the color and celebrated my first tan lines of the season! Next weekend is the Toadlick Music Festival in Dothan, AL - three days of country music!! I can't wait to put on my cowgirl boots and jam to some country tunes!

 I'm a country girl at heart, so here is my playlist for this summer.

Summer 2013 Country Playlist  

Cruise - Florida Georgia Line
Summer Jam -  Jake Owen
Pontoon - Little Big Town
Drunk on You - Luke Bryan
I Can Take it From There - Chris Young
Put a Girl In It - Brooks & Dunn
Somethin' Bout a Truck - Kip Moore
Beer Money - Kip Moore
All Over the Road - Easton Corbin
Georgia Peaches - Lauren Alaina
Get Your Shine On - Florida Georgia Line
Time is Love - Josh Turner
Jump Right In - Zac Brown Band
Don't Rush - Kelly Clarkson
Point At You - Justin Moore
Long Hot Summer - Keith Urban

A Time to Read

A time for every season... this is my season to read....

Before September, I couldn't have told you the last time I read a book for fun. The end of high school, and four years of college were jam packed with textbook assignments or required reading. Many of those books I hope to read again for fun, when I can fully enjoy them.

I was that child that sat next to the nightlight late into the night trying to finish a book before school. I couldn't stand having to wait a whole day to get back to the story and it's characters.

After moving to Alabama and temporarily becoming a stay at home wife, I finally had the time to get back into one of my favorite past times - devouring books like it's my job. Its not uncommon for me to read one to two books per day, especially if they are part of a series and I want to know the ending. 

Thankfully, I have a mother in law who faithfully kept me in books. She has a large Christian romance/ Amish/historical fiction collection, of which I'm sure I have read almost all of them by now. My favorite author is now Beverly Lewis, whose Amish fiction I adore. I can hardly wait to get back to Amish Country and do some exploring!

Here's a picture of the books I am currently borrowing. There are many more not pictured that I have already sent back.

Funny Moments

It's good to be able to laugh at yourself! Here are two funny "Kendall Moments" that might make you smile:

1. Dave's parents bought us a CD at a concert they went to. Tonight, I popped it into my computer, downloaded it to iTunes, and couldn't wait to listen to it. So, I'm be-bopping around the apartment with the instrumental music playing in the background, and I keep thinking to myself "Wow, all of these songs sound very similar". Two hours later, I finally check my computer, and notice that I had been listening to the same song on repeat 29 times!! NO WONDER!

2. On Valentine's Day, I finally made that age-old mistake of washing reds with whites. I've never had an issue with my laundry colors bleeding into each other, but I got a good laugh when I pulled out a dish cloth that is now a nice shade of pink. I decided to think of  it as my washing machine sending me a Valentine's Day smile :)

Models for a day :)

Yesterday David and I got to do one of the coolest things ever - we got to re-live our newlywed bliss by being "models" in a wedding and engagement photo shoot! Sherei Jackson, the photographer, was looking to build her portfolio for a bridal expo she will be doing this month, and Dave and I were more than happy to help (I mean let's be honest, who would pass up an awesome chance to dress up again and have professional pictures taken?).  Sherei and her husband were so sweet, and invited us out to their family cabin to take pictures in the wheat fields and by their pond. We immediately became friends as we found that we had a lot in common, including our shared faith in the Lord! David and I had a blast chatting with them as we got ready and then posed for pictures.

I had hoped to get my wedding gown sent down, but it was far too expensive, and it would have needed to have all the wrinkles steamed out for it to look presentable. Instead, I brought my short reception dress, and thankfully fit perfectly into Sherei's dress that she was kind enough to let me wear.

Her home is so picturesque! Beautiful fields, an adorable log cabin, a pond, tree lined paths, and a fun hilly driveway that David and I "off-roaded" with the Jeep on our way home. We seriously dream of living in a place like that!

The pictures that she took came out fantastic. I would highly recommend her as a photographer! Here is the link to some of the pictures from yesterday:

David + Kendall | A Prince and his Princess

The title, A Prince and his Princess, is so fitting  - I feel like a princess every day I am with David. And look as him, all handsome and regal in his Army Dress Blues! <3 I felt so giddy and happy doing this photo shoot - and I think it shows!

(http://shereijacksonphotography.wordpress.com/)

First Married Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day!! 

I've had such a wonderful day! Here are the highlights of my first married Valentine's Day:

<3  The Valentine's Day party at the senior center was a blast!!

<3 It was my first time singing Karaoke - I serenaded everyone with "I'm gonna love you forever and ever, forever and ever, Amen." Thankfully my crowd was very easy to please!

<3 Watching a 98 year old lady get up and disco with the DJ...three times! She had the biggest smile on her face!

<3 Not exactly a highlight - but all the innuendos sparked by the holiday. The kitchen at the senior center reminded me of a ninth grade health class with all the inappropriate comments going around! Get a room please!!

<3 One of the seniors wore fishnet pants and died her hair pink for the occasion. While she was dancing some of the other seniors put dollar bills in the netting of her pants... something you don't see every day...hahahaha! Oh my...

<3 Getting a Finding Nemo Valentine from one of the seniors :)

<3 The SUN coming OUT and SHINING for the first time in WEEKS! Hallelujah!

<3 Coming home to a dozen roses, chocolates and candy

<3 Eating a delicious teriyaki steak and mashed potatoes dinner with Dave in his brief break between class and flying - and having plenty of leftovers for lunch tomorrow.

<3 Dave giving me Love Spell body lotion - he said it was the best smelling one in the store. I found this incredibly funny because back in high school, Love Spell was the scent of choice for perfume. Every popular girl wore it, and it drove the boys crazy! I never wore it, but always kind of wanted to :) Thanks Baby!

<3 Giving Dave the craft I made him :

<3 Can't wait till later when we can share the Valentine's day cake I made :) Along with baked Brie and strawberries... mmmmmmm.....come home soon Dave!!

I can't believe how blessed I am. Every day with Dave in my life is better than the day before. I feel like I am bursting with love!!

Lent

Happy Lent!

If you don't know, Lent is the forty days before Easter in which many Christian denominations practice fasting in preparation for our observance of Christ's death and resurrection. Growing up, we would identify something that had become almost an "idol" for us, something that would be difficult for us to go without, and then we would fast from it for the 40 days. The point was to lean on God for our strength when we were tempted to give in, and use it to help us get closer to God. Sometimes instead of fasting we would "add something" beneficial, like 20 minutes of prayer time every morning for 40 days, or reading a chapter of the Bible each day.

This year I am doing a little of both. Since I am not working, I have a considerable amount of free time. I find myself checking Facebook on my phone at least once an hour. It's fun to be up to date on what's going on with all my friends, but at the same time, it irritates me how much of a reflex it is to check Facebook and then get sucked into it. I know that I waste a lot of time on the site without meaning to. I am not going to completely fast from Facebook, (so don't be surprised if you see me post something) since I live so far away from friends and family and would like so still see what's going on, but I am going to significantly cut down how long I go on. Right now, I am setting the time for 15 min. each evening - enough time for a quick glance, and to answer any notifications or messages I may have. In a few weeks I will probably go down to every other day. This may sounds like cheating, and you may wonder why I don't just cold turkey turn it off for 40 days, but I am using this as an excuse to practice better self control - something I will carry on after the 40 days are over.

More importantly, Dave and I are ADDING daily devotion/ Bible studies. We have gotten so busy, and mixed up with his ever changing work hours we had fallen behind, so now we are going to get back to where we need to be.

Last night I came across a verse that hit home to me why we do lent. The context of the verse is that Israel was continuing to do evil in the sight of the Lord, even after He had saved them from slavery in Egypt. They had stopped putting their trust in the Lord, and were worshiping false idols.

"They followed worthless idols, and themselves became worthless" 2 Kings 17:15

This made me think about the worthless things that we spend our time chasing and worshiping - money, fame, status, popularity etc... Let's not worship worthless idols, and ourselves become worthless.

February!

Happy February 1st!! 

Today marks 5 months of being married for David and I, as well as the first day of my favorite months!!

Why is this month so wonderful?  Well for one, almost 23 years ago I was born!

February 1st: Our Wedding Monthaversary! yay!

February 14th- Valentine's Day <3  (my first married one) I have always loved Valentine's Day. This year I will be helping out with the Valentine's Day party at the senior center. I can't wait to decorate and enjoy a fun afternoon of fellowship, music and maybe some dancing if Dave can come with me! I also want to carry on a tradition my friend Laura started in college of making a heart shaped cake for her friends to share. Thanks Laura! I am stealing your idea this year and making one too!

February 21st- my 23rd birthday! I honestly couldn't remember the other day how old I was going to be. I thought to myself  "is it 23? wait no...that sounds too old...have I been 22 yet?". I am hoping to bring ice cream over to the senior center that day, as is the custom when it is somebody's birthday. :) I've been receiving happy birthday coupons from all my favorite stores which is fun, even though I don't plan on doing a shopping spree. For some reason it just feels special when your birthday is recognized, even if it is in an effort to make you buy something...

Also, for reasons I cannot yet reveal, I am very excited about this weekend! More on that in a few days!!!

When I think of February, I feel all giddy and smiley. Something about the Pink and purple heart decorations and the thought of celebrating love is just too much fun! I really think I should be some kind of activities coordinator at a nursing home or something because I just love to decorate and celebrate!

Work out #2

Ya know, I was not expecting the second workout to be easier, but it was!! I felt like I was quicker to get into the "groove" with the video, and didn't feel so awkward with my movements. It actually made my sore muscles feel better to get moving again, which, according to Dave, is because it breaks down the lactic acid that builds up. I did the same core workouts and ab videos (and didn't skip out on as many of the ab exercises as I did the first time).

In case you are interested, here are the YouTube links for my workouts. I will continue with these while Dave is on his "Nights" schedule. And please, don't laugh when you picture me doing these!! Who knows, maybe I will be able to hit up the clubs when I perfect my booty shakes!

Core Rhythms : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lT09bryb0C4

Abs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acVU6HGmyVk


Oooh I just found this one while searching for the links above. I think I will add this 10 minute butt exercise to my routine tonight! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2c8xSyaLpk

My Advice After Planning My Own Wedding

There are few tasks more difficult, stressful, time consuming and emotional than planning your own wedding. I used to want to go into the wedding planning business, but after realizing that I am not good with plans, decisions or deadlines, I soon gave up that idea. There is a good reason why people pay big bucks for wedding planners- it makes the process so much easier! It has been almost five months since Dave and I got married, and I am finally feeling as though I have calmed myself down from the roller coaster ride of planning our wedding. Now I am sure there are brides out there that would disagree and say that planning their special day was stress free and pure joy, and good for them, but I am truly happy that I survived the planning and made it to my wedding alive!

Here are some things I learned along the way:

1. Your wedding WILL cost you more than you planned for it to cost.

No matter how good your budget is, there will always be expenses you weren't expecting. Stamps, for example. I kept the postal service in business with all the stamps I bought. Save the Dates, Invitations, return envelopes for RSVPs, Bridal Shower invites and Thank You cards = $600+!!!  The average American wedding is more than $25,000, which is absolutely insane, but I saw how easily we could have spent that much.

Dave and I thought we had found the perfect place for our wedding  - a fancy barn, affiliated with a fancy restaurant near my hometown. How much could a barn rental cost anyways?  We were looking over the brochure and nearly had a heart attack when we read: "The space may only be rented to customers who are buying at least $20,000 on food". !?!?!??!? Needless to say we did not take that route...

Vendors jack up the price of anything that is for a wedding. As soon as they hear "I'm planning my wedding" they triple the prices...it's true!!

I saved some money on flowers and a DJ by having a gardener friend make the arrangements, and two close guy friends be our MCs. For my bouquets, I saved money buy using flowers that were in season, and not considered "fancy". My sunflowers and babies breath were lovely, "fancy" or not!

2. Do not make decisions that will add to your stress levels.

I almost signed a contract to rent an absolutely gorgeous historical building for our reception. However, it could only seat 115 people, so I would have had to be holding my breath all summer hoping that not all the people we sent invites to would be able to come. I didn't want to have to stress about turning people away or having to find a new location last minute. Not to mention, the contract had so many clauses about not being allowed to hang things from the ceiling, and big fines for any kinds of damages to the building. While it would have been beautiful, I am glad I didn't do that to myself!

3. Don't try to do everything yourself!

I was awful at this point. I don't know why I did so many things by myself when I had friends ready and willing to help. I guess I was just afraid to ask someone to put aside an afternoon for mundane tasks like addressing envelopes. My issue was thinking that even though people offered to help, they might not actually want to. In the end, I think I offended more people by not asking for help...

Thankfully a few months before the wedding, my friend's cousin offered to help us with the decorations. She was a God-send. We would not have made it with out her help and her amazing vision. I had so many ideas floating around at once, but she helped us make them a reality. We also were so glad to have her oversee the decorating the week of the wedding while we were doing other things.

On the same subject - one awesome way to cut down on work for yourself is to use printing labels and return address labels. This saved a ton of work, and I had it all on my computer to use for Thank You cards later on.

4. Don't plan on cooking for your wedding.

We had this grand idea in the beginning that my parents/family would cook the rehearsal dinner, sides for the reception, and put together a "Berry Bar" of angel food cake and berries for our dessert. Thank GOODNESS we were talked out of this. The week of the wedding is a very high-strung/ stressful time. It is also when you want to be able to enjoy out of town friends and relatives instead of having to worry about pulling of a great meal and stuff. We gave some family recipes to our caterer and paid him to make them - it was worth it. We also decided to just buy a wedding cake. Though the Berry bar would have been a clever and sweet way to incorporate my new last name, it would have been stressful, time consuming, and ultimately more expensive. Plus I ended up loving my cake. Try to delegate everything you can to people outside your immediate families.

5. Your wedding cake doesn't have to be expensive!

We bought a small, two tiered, cake for cutting into and pictures. Then we bought a sheet cake of exactly the same thing to be cut and served to guests. A regular huge cake can cost $3.00 per serving or so. Our sheet cake was only $1.5 per serving. Some people have said they paid $600+ on a cake, total for mine was $240. Still expensive, but not that bad!

6. Recycling is a good thing!

We went through our recycling bin for jars that could be used for flower vases. I also got carafes and other vases at the Salvation Army for cheap. Having a "country-rustic" themed reception made it okay to use quirky items and furniture.

7. A hard one - you can't invite everyone

Dave and I have so many friends and family that is was really hard, and very stressful to make our guest list. After all of the family and closest friends plus significant others are invited, the task of choosing who will have those last few invites is the worst!!! If you invited this person, then that whole group will wonder why they weren't invited... whose friend is more likely to come..... what about all the people from church? I really and truly hope that nobody was offended that was not invited to our wedding. I tried to get a few last minute invites in as people informed me that they could not make it, but there were certainly people I would have liked to include. :(

8. Not everyone you invite will come!

I held my breath as we invited 250 people to our event, hoping that our estimation of 150 people attending would be correct. Our number ended up being 115. There were actually quite a few people who said they were coming but then didn't show up at all. Please people - if you are invited to a wedding be HONEST about whether you can go! The bride and her family pay for every seat and meal, even if they are not used. Don't feel like you have to say yes just to not hurt someones feelings, hoping they wont notice the day of that you aren't there...

9. Make your wedding special and unique

Dave flies helicopters for the Army. The coolest thing we did at our wedding was ride a helicopter to our reception, and have my dad play bagpipes as we walked up to greet the crowd. It actually wasn't an expensive ride at all - it was the cheapest personal touch we had, but it made a dream come true for Dave, and was something that definitely will be remembered. We also had a blueberry bush painting as our guest book, and had everyone make a green leaf thumbprint and sign their name. Get it? Blue berries....for the Berry couple :) Yeah...I'm cheesy like that

10. You don't have to stick with traditional seating.

I decided to forgo the typical "head table" seating, for an intimate "sweetheart" table. I wanted our wedding party to enjoy themselves, so I sat everyone with their friends, spread out around the room.  It was nice having our own little table, and sharing our first meal as a married couple alone, but facing our friends and family.

11. Seating is a pain in the butt

It doesn't matter if you find the most amazing way of organizing your seating chart....you still have to actually decide who is going to sit with who. There will always be an odd number of people who want to sit together and some people who you have no idea where to put. At the end of the day though, people will get over who they sat with.

12. MAKE SURE THE BRIDE EATS

This is one of my only regrets. All summer we reiterated over and over that there would be plenty of snacks to keep me happy on the day of, since I get low blood sugar very quickly and feel sick. Unfortunately with the nerves and a million other things on my mind, I didn't eat or drink enough. But the time we started taking pictures I was a grouch and having a hard time keeping myself together. Imagine! Feeling cranky on your own wedding day! To be fair, I had an awful cold and hadn't been sleeping or eating well that week. We didn't get all of the pictures I wanted because I was only interested in getting the pictures over with so I could get some dinner. Now I am super bummed that I don't have certain pictures that I had planned on getting, all because an empty stomach was making me feel sick

Also - make sure the bride doesn't over-do it while planning. The WORST mistake I made was setting up 3 dress shopping appointments in one afternoon. I was a mess at the end of that day. It's overwhelming and very exhausting trying on dresses. Only make one or two appointments for any given day so you don't stress yourself out, and so that you stay sweet :)

13. Having a dress to change into is a good idea

Thank goodness I had a cute, lightweight dress to change into after the formal dances at the reception. My huge princess dress was too heavy and hot for me to wear all night. I could barely breathe with the corset waist, not because it was tired too tight, but because us 21st century women aren't used to restrictive clothing. We usually wear thin and airy fabrics. I felt like a whole new person with my new dress on, and had a lot more fun dancing after that!

14. Don't expect to see everyone

Try as I might, I did not get to visit with everyone at my wedding. I guess I will have to wait till it is someone else's wedding!

15. Have someone stay at your house after you leave for an hour or so to make sure you haven't forgotten something.

Thank goodness for two of my friends who stayed later at my house to get ready. We called them a million times on the ride to the church, remembering things we left behind (most importantly - the checkbook to pay our caterer and photographer!) My mom even decided last minute that she wanted to wear a different dress - so it was good to have them there. Especially since it is an hour drive between home and church.

16. Listen to your heart, not everyone else.

Everyone will have their own opinion about your wedding, colors, food, service etc. even yourself! It can be really hard not try to please everyone else. This is your wedding! You and your future husband (and whoever is helping pay) should be the only ones making the important decisions. End of story.

When you go to buy your dress - buy the one you want!!I tried on my dress and immediately started crying. I knew it was my dress at once, but everyone else liked a different dress better. I am so glad that I chose the one that felt right to me!

17. Things will go wrong!

There will be details that are forgotten in the midst of everything. That's okay!

Remember - It's not about the wedding, it's about the marriage!

The absolute most important detail of the wedding is the union of two people, who make a vow before God and their guest to love and honor each other all the days of their lives. It doesn't matter if everything goes wrong, as long as the bride and groom are right for each other. It's also important to know that the wedding is one day, but the rest of your life is what is important. So make sure to enjoy the enormity of being united to (hopefully) your best friend. Also - no amount of wedding plans matter - so if you feel you aren't ready to be married, even of the day of, don't do it! Marriage is HUGE! It really should not be taken lightly. I am so thankful for a wonderful, loving man that I call my husband, and I hope all my readers find their perfect match!

Click the following link if you want to read about our wedding day:
http://kendallmeetsworld.blogspot.com/2012/10/wedding-memories.html

Observations on Aging from the Senior Center

As you may know, I spend a few days of the week volunteering at our local senior center. Even though some days I think I would rather relax at home, I never regret heading over to the center for a few hours. The seniors have really made me feel welcome. It's almost like have 35 or so grandparents that all want to say "hi" and let me know they are happy to see me. We play BINGO, serve them lunch and then once a week take them on a shopping trip before driving them home on the bus. I like working with the seniors for many reasons including that they move at a pace that doesn't tire me out as much as children do - haha!  It's always a good time!

Here are some observations I have made about getting older: 

(And yes, I do know that many of these are generalizations)

1. Life get's harder and moves slower.  It's no longer easy to put on clothes in the morning, get out of a chair, our walk to the front door. It becomes an ordeal of inching forward with a walker, and needing help to put a coat on.

2. Everything hurts, and "if it don't hurt, it doesn't work".  Being able to walk is such a gift. There are several seniors that have prosthesis legs, are wheelchair bound, or can barely shuffle along.

3. You get to a certain age and then you are allowed to complain about anything and everything that bothers you. AND, the list of things that bothers you gets longer and longer. Today we got scolded because we didn't bring the butter out fast enough for the seniors' cornbread. Apparently this is a heinous offense that can ruin a person's meal. Though in my opinion, if that's the worst thing that happens to you today, you're doing pretty good!

4. Either you will become very frugal, a shopaholic OR a frugal shopaholic (meaning you will buy anything and everything that is cheap)! Today we went to the local FREDs which is like a Dollar Store with more selection. One of the senior ladies spent $100 in about 5 seconds. Every shirt or pair of pants she saw she grabbed and stacked up on her walker. She informed me that she spent too many years doing without, and now she was going to spend as much money as she wanted on the most important person in her life "me, myself and I".

5. Weather is more extreme. A little rain becomes reason to stay home, bundled up, smoking a cigarette and drinking hot coffee. If we are supposed to go to the store but it is raining out, 9 times out of 10 the seniors will bail on the trip because they don't want to get wet and they just want to go home where it's warm. It doesn't matter if the store is heated because nobody wants to risk being out in bad, aka drizzling, weather. That's okay! I'm happy to go home early and relax!

6. High school doesn't end. Not even when you're 85. My goodness - you should see the cliques that form at the center. And there are a few ladies that will go off on the others just for looking at them the wrong way. ("Who ya looking at!?") Getting everyone onto the bus reminds me of the school lunch room, everyone has their own seat. There's a 98 year old woman that cussed a guy out for sitting in her seat accidentally. I get a kick out of listening to them mutter about each other.

which leads me to..

7. Many will lose their ability to whisper. I often hear certain individuals "whispering" something scandalous or rude about someone else with a "hushed" voice that doesn't change in volume... it only works because most people there are hard of hearing. But not me- I catch it all!

8. Every young person, looks a whole lot younger than they are. I can't even tell you how many people thought I was volunteering as community service for high school.
Me: "No Ma'am I graduated college and I am married. I'm 22."
Senior: "MARRIED!?! But you're such a baby! Couldn't be older that 14!... Hey [so-and-so], did you know this girl is MARRIED?! Wasn't I just saying how I thought she was in high school... Looks like a BABY right?! "

9. Kids aren't the only ones that say the darndest things....

African American Senior: "Imma tell that white lady to get her car outta the handicap spot. You think I'm kidding?  I'm from the South, and we gotta black president, so I can say whatever I want! Here I go! Cover your ears now, cuz what Imma bout to say ain't Christian. I ain't kidding now. "  

Senior: "If I didn't have this prosthesis I would kick her tires in!"

Same senior: "You see that mud? Well [company] sent me a pair of "free" shoes and then sent me a bill for them. I don't even want them. Imma come out here and fall in the mud so I can call them and tell them their shoes made me fall, and I had a heart attach, and now they gotta pay for my back problems. I'll sue 'em! You think I'm kidding? Don't help me, I told you I want to fall in the mud! I'm not kidding!"

10. You don't have to remember peoples names because you can call everyone "Honey", "Sugar", "Darling" and "Sweetheart". (Though this might just be a Southern thing)

11. It's always cold, and there will always be a draft coming from somewhere.  Young people will always be crazy with their short sleeved shirts.

12. Going to the doctor every week becomes normal. (Yuck!! I hate going even just once a year!)

13. You're never too old to be frisky. They are always making innuendo comments towards each other. (seriously scrub my ears out with bleach!!). One of the younger male volunteers told me that the older ladies grab his butt all the time and have even tried to proposition him before. Thankfully I look too much like a grandchild to get those kind of advances!!

14. It's fun to mix and match lots of jewelry and bright nail polishes! Actually this really only applies to one of my favorite seniors. She buys tons of Avon jewelry - a ring for every finger and huge earrings and necklaces. Every day she paints on a new coat of pure glitter, gold nail polish. She's such a  doll.


15. BINGO is a big deal! Do NOT mess with Bingo at the senior center. Do not talk, make distractions, or ask stupid questions (as I did) about how to play Bingo. It's a good day when you win, it's someone else's fault if you lose. Bingo is played every single day at the center and I am told that it can be the source of many a disagreement.

16. On a serious note, getting old often means being at the mercy of the younger people in your life. So many seniors rely on their children to do their shopping, bring their money, and take them to the doctor's office among other things. There are a few that have been robbed or taken advantage of by their own family members. Others are downright abandoned.  One blind man lives all by himself in a very dirty and smelly trailer. He can't bathe, and he literally pees down his front steps out the door. He comes to the center for a hot meal. It's very sad, and I wish we were successful in finding him help. I also wish his family would take responsibility for him. The center provides a fun environment for the seniors to get out of the house, and I think many of them would be very lonely without it.


I love the seniors. Every day I go is a blast, and I have many giggle moments when I witness some of the things they do or say. I love getting my big hugs, having friends to sit with at the Methodist Church on Sundays, and getting to serve a group that is often undervalued in our society.

Going to the center is a good reminder to enjoy youth while it lasts!!


One of the ladies brought me a cotton plant today because I told her I thought it was so cool how it actually grows in cotton balls on the plant! Here's a picture or two:

New Years

While everyone else was out partying in the new year, Dave and I were home fighting colds again. Poor Dave finally caught my cold a few days before he has to go back to class, so we stayed in. That's okay, I am really not much of a partier anyways. I love being home with my man, snuggled on the couch with snacks, movies, and in this case tissues and Airborne.

We opened a bottle of wine that was a Christmas gift from a friend. Clearly we didn't buy it for ourselves because we didn't even have a wine bottle opener! We had to improvise. Here's a picture of Dave tightening a screw into the cork before using pliers to pull it out. It was SO worth it. It was probably the most delicious wine I have ever had- fruity and sweet (pretty much the way I like any alcoholic drink). 

All of our wine glasses that we got as wedding gifts are in Dave's room in PA, so we drank our wine out of Oktoberfest beer mugs, finishing the bottle. Good wine, goat cheese, gummy bears and a great man - yummm! 

We watched Pitch Perfect (one of my new favorites), skipping through to watch each of the song performances. Dave is such a good sport :) We celebrated the New Year twice - first for our friends and family back home who are an hour ahead in time, and then just the two of us. 

A Berry Happy New Year to everyone! I hope 2013 brings me many more opportunities to make cheesy puns out of my awesome new last name!  More importantly, I hope it brings peace, love and joy to this world, and that we all do something worthwhile in the year to come. 

Here's a pic of Dave with his handsome Christmas beard. He shaved it off today in preparation for starting back to Army classes.  I miss the scruffy ruggedness, but he is still my handsome man! <3