Here are some observations I have made about getting older:
(And yes, I do know that many of these are generalizations)1. Life get's harder and moves slower. It's no longer easy to put on clothes in the morning, get out of a chair, our walk to the front door. It becomes an ordeal of inching forward with a walker, and needing help to put a coat on.
2. Everything hurts, and "if it don't hurt, it doesn't work". Being able to walk is such a gift. There are several seniors that have prosthesis legs, are wheelchair bound, or can barely shuffle along.
3. You get to a certain age and then you are allowed to complain about anything and everything that bothers you. AND, the list of things that bothers you gets longer and longer. Today we got scolded because we didn't bring the butter out fast enough for the seniors' cornbread. Apparently this is a heinous offense that can ruin a person's meal. Though in my opinion, if that's the worst thing that happens to you today, you're doing pretty good!
4. Either you will become very frugal, a shopaholic OR a frugal shopaholic (meaning you will buy anything and everything that is cheap)! Today we went to the local FREDs which is like a Dollar Store with more selection. One of the senior ladies spent $100 in about 5 seconds. Every shirt or pair of pants she saw she grabbed and stacked up on her walker. She informed me that she spent too many years doing without, and now she was going to spend as much money as she wanted on the most important person in her life "me, myself and I".
5. Weather is more extreme. A little rain becomes reason to stay home, bundled up, smoking a cigarette and drinking hot coffee. If we are supposed to go to the store but it is raining out, 9 times out of 10 the seniors will bail on the trip because they don't want to get wet and they just want to go home where it's warm. It doesn't matter if the store is heated because nobody wants to risk being out in bad, aka drizzling, weather. That's okay! I'm happy to go home early and relax!
6. High school doesn't end. Not even when you're 85. My goodness - you should see the cliques that form at the center. And there are a few ladies that will go off on the others just for looking at them the wrong way. ("Who ya looking at!?") Getting everyone onto the bus reminds me of the school lunch room, everyone has their own seat. There's a 98 year old woman that cussed a guy out for sitting in her seat accidentally. I get a kick out of listening to them mutter about each other.
which leads me to..
7. Many will lose their ability to whisper. I often hear certain individuals "whispering" something scandalous or rude about someone else with a "hushed" voice that doesn't change in volume... it only works because most people there are hard of hearing. But not me- I catch it all!
8. Every young person, looks a whole lot younger than they are. I can't even tell you how many people thought I was volunteering as community service for high school.
Me: "No Ma'am I graduated college and I am married. I'm 22."
Senior: "MARRIED!?! But you're such a baby! Couldn't be older that 14!... Hey [so-and-so], did you know this girl is MARRIED?! Wasn't I just saying how I thought she was in high school... Looks like a BABY right?! "
9. Kids aren't the only ones that say the darndest things....
African American Senior: "Imma tell that white lady to get her car outta the handicap spot. You think I'm kidding? I'm from the South, and we gotta black president, so I can say whatever I want! Here I go! Cover your ears now, cuz what Imma bout to say ain't Christian. I ain't kidding now. "
Senior: "If I didn't have this prosthesis I would kick her tires in!"
Same senior: "You see that mud? Well [company] sent me a pair of "free" shoes and then sent me a bill for them. I don't even want them. Imma come out here and fall in the mud so I can call them and tell them their shoes made me fall, and I had a heart attach, and now they gotta pay for my back problems. I'll sue 'em! You think I'm kidding? Don't help me, I told you I want to fall in the mud! I'm not kidding!"
10. You don't have to remember peoples names because you can call everyone "Honey", "Sugar", "Darling" and "Sweetheart". (Though this might just be a Southern thing)
11. It's always cold, and there will always be a draft coming from somewhere. Young people will always be crazy with their short sleeved shirts.
12. Going to the doctor every week becomes normal. (Yuck!! I hate going even just once a year!)
13. You're never too old to be frisky. They are always making innuendo comments towards each other. (seriously scrub my ears out with bleach!!). One of the younger male volunteers told me that the older ladies grab his butt all the time and have even tried to proposition him before. Thankfully I look too much like a grandchild to get those kind of advances!!
14. It's fun to mix and match lots of jewelry and bright nail polishes! Actually this really only applies to one of my favorite seniors. She buys tons of Avon jewelry - a ring for every finger and huge earrings and necklaces. Every day she paints on a new coat of pure glitter, gold nail polish. She's such a doll.
15. BINGO is a big deal! Do NOT mess with Bingo at the senior center. Do not talk, make distractions, or ask stupid questions (as I did) about how to play Bingo. It's a good day when you win, it's someone else's fault if you lose. Bingo is played every single day at the center and I am told that it can be the source of many a disagreement.
16. On a serious note, getting old often means being at the mercy of the younger people in your life. So many seniors rely on their children to do their shopping, bring their money, and take them to the doctor's office among other things. There are a few that have been robbed or taken advantage of by their own family members. Others are downright abandoned. One blind man lives all by himself in a very dirty and smelly trailer. He can't bathe, and he literally pees down his front steps out the door. He comes to the center for a hot meal. It's very sad, and I wish we were successful in finding him help. I also wish his family would take responsibility for him. The center provides a fun environment for the seniors to get out of the house, and I think many of them would be very lonely without it.
I love the seniors. Every day I go is a blast, and I have many giggle moments when I witness some of the things they do or say. I love getting my big hugs, having friends to sit with at the Methodist Church on Sundays, and getting to serve a group that is often undervalued in our society.
Going to the center is a good reminder to enjoy youth while it lasts!!
One of the ladies brought me a cotton plant today because I told her I thought it was so cool how it actually grows in cotton balls on the plant! Here's a picture or two:
