I don't have a job.
In truth, I haven't looked for one,
and I have no intention of doing so in the immediate future.
For some reason the fact that I do not have a job outside of the home seems to really bother people. Aside from the fact that the decision for me to be at home right now was a joint decision that my husband and I agreed to, and continue to be happy about, it really shouldn't be a concern to anybody else!
However, my mission in this blog has always been to record my honest thoughts, so therefore I think it might actually be a good idea for me to explain why I am not looking for employment.
There are several reasons that I will not be looking for a job while Dave and I live in Alabama, despite having just earned a degree in Social Work.
- Fort Rucker is not your average military base. It is a place where almost everybody is just "passing through". Military families come for any period of time from a few weeks to several years for different types of training, typically in the form of flight school. There is usually no way of knowing exactly how long you will be here because, as I am learning, the Army has a mind of its own. Dave and I will probably be here about 6 months give or take before we move back to Pennsylvania. That is not a lot of time to find a job, get settled in, and then transition out.
- Not only that, but since the surrounding community knows that most military families are just passing through, they are not looking to hire somebody who will be leaving in several months. I did meet with a woman who works to try and find military wives jobs, and she said the only way I could get a social work job would be in the form of an unpaid internship, because employers would not be interested in hiring me for the short term. I have done my fair share of unpaid internships, and while rewarding, it's hard for me to want to put forth the time and considerable emotion expense for free (especially since I will be doing more unpaid internships when I attend grad school). Certainly I could babysit, work at a fast food place or clean houses. however we do not at this moment require the extra income, so I don't need to work a job just for the sake of working.
- I have always enjoyed volunteering my time, but right now I feel called to a different mission, the support of my husband during a very important time in his life and career. Dave has long hard days that start early in the morning, and little time to do anything but sleep and study. I feel incredibly blessed to be here to have his lunch ready when he is rushing through the door to eat, a good healthy dinner (better than the bachelor days of Ramen noodles), and a clean and comfortable home for him to rest in at the end of the day. His time in flight school is for both of us, as being a pilot will likely be how he provides for our family for years to come. Any role I can have in supporting him and making his life easier is a privilege to me. Not to mention, we both adore any moment we have together, so it is a gift to be here whenever Dave is able to be home - something I would not trade.
- Being newly married, I am thankful to have this short period of time to just focus on being a wife. I don't just sit around relaxing and twiddling my fingers all day as many probably think. Sure, I have time to do some crafting and fun reading, but I am also learning how to run a household. I'm planning menus, trying new recipes, cleaning our apartment, keeping up with the laundry, and most importantly spending time in Bible study and prayer that God would bless our marriage, and help me to be a good wife. I find that my faith is really maturing now that I have made an effort to devote more time to spiritual growth.
- Personally, the last nine months have been very taxing. Have you ever heard of the life stress scale where you add points for the all of the life stresses? Well, I did one of those one day and Dave immediately made me stop because he didn't want me to stress about how much stress I was feeling!! Dave in the Army, internship in hospice that really took an emotional tole, finishing a four year degree in two, graduating, moving home, working and planning a wedding (which was not without it's bumps!), death of a friend, feeling sick, getting married, moving across the country, meeting new friends and missing old ones... I shouldn't have to say it, but I really have needed this time of rest in a new season of my life. And don't worry! I'm sure my life will not be peaches and roses forever, though I hope that my peace is in the Lord and I will carry it with me whatever happens after this period of rest.
I confess, it can be upsetting when I seem to constantly get asked if I have a job yet. I am trying to give people grace because it is hard to understand my situation unless someone has lived something similar. I find comfort in the other military spouses I am meeting who also feel that right now is a time to focus on our husbands careers instead of our own. My mother in law also encourages me to enjoy every minute of this, as she thinks fondly of the days when she stayed home to support her husband while he was serving our country.
I recall at one of my social work internships my supervisor would ask if the client had a job, and often they would reply "no, I stay at home with the kids". My supervisor would empower those women by saying "taking care of house, a husband and children IS a full time job, just without the pay or recognition".
I really wish our society would get away from the idea that our worth is wrapped up in the job we have and the success of our careers. I don't say any of this to offend women who are working. Soon I will be getting my master's degree and finding a job, and I will have a new appreciation for the woman who both works AND keeps a household. My purpose is to explain why I am, at the moment, happily unemployed. Right now, I am finding my joy in doing what I feel is God's calling for this season of my life. I wont earn money, titles or recognition, but honestly, those things don't bring me as much happiness as a loving home, and time with husband.
