If you have studied social work, you might groan at the title "Self Care", but you also may have your own story of how the use or mis-use of self care has impacted your life. The importance of taking care of our minds and bodies is drilled into social work students during school. When you work in a field that is so emotionally taxing, it is incredibly important that you take care of yourself, otherwise burnout and health problems are likely to ensue. I can't stress enough how invaluable these lessons in self care can be - if we take them to heart! I learned my own lesson last semester, one I feel is important to share.
My senior field placement was at a hospice company near my school. I chose this placement because I knew that I would be outside of my comfort zone. Hospice social workers meet with dying patients and their families- assessing their emotional and social function, determining bereavement needs of the family, and coordinating services for the patient. I also did a lot of listening- hearing the concerns, grief, fear, and pain of patients and families going through such a difficult time. One of the many difficult parts of working in hospice is termination. Usually termination in a social work setting happens when a client has met their goals and no longer needs to see the social worker. In hospice, the patient leaves your service when they die. God may call a patient home before they, their family, or the staff that works with them is ready for them to go. In situations where there was conflict in the family, or the patient was wrestling with their spirituality, the social worker may feel that there was unfinished business, or that they were not able to accomplish closure for all involved.
This kind of job really takes its toll if you are unable to put up good boundaries between yourself and patients, and if you don't take care of your body. Boundaries are something I have always struggled with. I care so strongly about people, even strangers, that I tend to feel their hurts with them. I spent a semester greiving inwardly for the many patients that passed away, and bringing my job stress home with me. I completely disregarded everything I knew about taking care of myself - I didn't exercise, eat right, keep up with daily devotions, or seperate myself emotionally from my patients. I made myself literally sick not taking care of myself - so stressed that I started having acid reflux issues that I continue to deal with. I also started to have bad anxiety about the future and worrying about the people I love dying. It was a difficult semester for me, but an excellent lesson that I need to care for my mind, body, and soul if I wish to do the same for others.
Sometimes when we learn lessons the hard way, we want to look up Heaven and say, "God, why couldn't you have just told me to do that instead of making me go through all that junk to figure it out myself?". He would probably reply "Didn't I bless you with an expensive education where numerous professors told you just that? No, you learn things best when you discover them for yourself." I know that the reason I got so sick last semester was that I needed to feel so uncomfortable that I would take my own initiative to help myself. And now I have the perfect motivation - to be healthier before I get married.
So this summer I started seeing a counselor in my area to work through my anxiety, I am eating my fill of delicious home cooking, going out in the warm, fresh air, spending time with good friends and family, reading my Bible the whole way through, going to church, and getting some exercise. My gift to my family, friends, future husband, and to myself, is that on my wedding day I hope to be a much happier, healthier and spiritually strong version of myself than the one they have seen the last half year.
There are a few things I believe strongly, and one of them is that people should never be ashamed of getting help when they need it. Getting help doesn't mean that somebody has failed, it means they no longer have to go through their struggles alone. That is why I chose to make my story public. I have nothing to hide about how stress and anxiety took over my life, and how I am resolved to battle them until they no longer affect me.
We are all struggling with our own burdens. God doesn't give any of us more than we can handle, but what one person can handle may be very different from what someone else can handle. Let's keep that in mind and support each other.
Thank you for reading!
