Observations on Aging from the Senior Center

As you may know, I spend a few days of the week volunteering at our local senior center. Even though some days I think I would rather relax at home, I never regret heading over to the center for a few hours. The seniors have really made me feel welcome. It's almost like have 35 or so grandparents that all want to say "hi" and let me know they are happy to see me. We play BINGO, serve them lunch and then once a week take them on a shopping trip before driving them home on the bus. I like working with the seniors for many reasons including that they move at a pace that doesn't tire me out as much as children do - haha!  It's always a good time!

Here are some observations I have made about getting older: 

(And yes, I do know that many of these are generalizations)

1. Life get's harder and moves slower.  It's no longer easy to put on clothes in the morning, get out of a chair, our walk to the front door. It becomes an ordeal of inching forward with a walker, and needing help to put a coat on.

2. Everything hurts, and "if it don't hurt, it doesn't work".  Being able to walk is such a gift. There are several seniors that have prosthesis legs, are wheelchair bound, or can barely shuffle along.

3. You get to a certain age and then you are allowed to complain about anything and everything that bothers you. AND, the list of things that bothers you gets longer and longer. Today we got scolded because we didn't bring the butter out fast enough for the seniors' cornbread. Apparently this is a heinous offense that can ruin a person's meal. Though in my opinion, if that's the worst thing that happens to you today, you're doing pretty good!

4. Either you will become very frugal, a shopaholic OR a frugal shopaholic (meaning you will buy anything and everything that is cheap)! Today we went to the local FREDs which is like a Dollar Store with more selection. One of the senior ladies spent $100 in about 5 seconds. Every shirt or pair of pants she saw she grabbed and stacked up on her walker. She informed me that she spent too many years doing without, and now she was going to spend as much money as she wanted on the most important person in her life "me, myself and I".

5. Weather is more extreme. A little rain becomes reason to stay home, bundled up, smoking a cigarette and drinking hot coffee. If we are supposed to go to the store but it is raining out, 9 times out of 10 the seniors will bail on the trip because they don't want to get wet and they just want to go home where it's warm. It doesn't matter if the store is heated because nobody wants to risk being out in bad, aka drizzling, weather. That's okay! I'm happy to go home early and relax!

6. High school doesn't end. Not even when you're 85. My goodness - you should see the cliques that form at the center. And there are a few ladies that will go off on the others just for looking at them the wrong way. ("Who ya looking at!?") Getting everyone onto the bus reminds me of the school lunch room, everyone has their own seat. There's a 98 year old woman that cussed a guy out for sitting in her seat accidentally. I get a kick out of listening to them mutter about each other.

which leads me to..

7. Many will lose their ability to whisper. I often hear certain individuals "whispering" something scandalous or rude about someone else with a "hushed" voice that doesn't change in volume... it only works because most people there are hard of hearing. But not me- I catch it all!

8. Every young person, looks a whole lot younger than they are. I can't even tell you how many people thought I was volunteering as community service for high school.
Me: "No Ma'am I graduated college and I am married. I'm 22."
Senior: "MARRIED!?! But you're such a baby! Couldn't be older that 14!... Hey [so-and-so], did you know this girl is MARRIED?! Wasn't I just saying how I thought she was in high school... Looks like a BABY right?! "

9. Kids aren't the only ones that say the darndest things....

African American Senior: "Imma tell that white lady to get her car outta the handicap spot. You think I'm kidding?  I'm from the South, and we gotta black president, so I can say whatever I want! Here I go! Cover your ears now, cuz what Imma bout to say ain't Christian. I ain't kidding now. "  

Senior: "If I didn't have this prosthesis I would kick her tires in!"

Same senior: "You see that mud? Well [company] sent me a pair of "free" shoes and then sent me a bill for them. I don't even want them. Imma come out here and fall in the mud so I can call them and tell them their shoes made me fall, and I had a heart attach, and now they gotta pay for my back problems. I'll sue 'em! You think I'm kidding? Don't help me, I told you I want to fall in the mud! I'm not kidding!"

10. You don't have to remember peoples names because you can call everyone "Honey", "Sugar", "Darling" and "Sweetheart". (Though this might just be a Southern thing)

11. It's always cold, and there will always be a draft coming from somewhere.  Young people will always be crazy with their short sleeved shirts.

12. Going to the doctor every week becomes normal. (Yuck!! I hate going even just once a year!)

13. You're never too old to be frisky. They are always making innuendo comments towards each other. (seriously scrub my ears out with bleach!!). One of the younger male volunteers told me that the older ladies grab his butt all the time and have even tried to proposition him before. Thankfully I look too much like a grandchild to get those kind of advances!!

14. It's fun to mix and match lots of jewelry and bright nail polishes! Actually this really only applies to one of my favorite seniors. She buys tons of Avon jewelry - a ring for every finger and huge earrings and necklaces. Every day she paints on a new coat of pure glitter, gold nail polish. She's such a  doll.


15. BINGO is a big deal! Do NOT mess with Bingo at the senior center. Do not talk, make distractions, or ask stupid questions (as I did) about how to play Bingo. It's a good day when you win, it's someone else's fault if you lose. Bingo is played every single day at the center and I am told that it can be the source of many a disagreement.

16. On a serious note, getting old often means being at the mercy of the younger people in your life. So many seniors rely on their children to do their shopping, bring their money, and take them to the doctor's office among other things. There are a few that have been robbed or taken advantage of by their own family members. Others are downright abandoned.  One blind man lives all by himself in a very dirty and smelly trailer. He can't bathe, and he literally pees down his front steps out the door. He comes to the center for a hot meal. It's very sad, and I wish we were successful in finding him help. I also wish his family would take responsibility for him. The center provides a fun environment for the seniors to get out of the house, and I think many of them would be very lonely without it.


I love the seniors. Every day I go is a blast, and I have many giggle moments when I witness some of the things they do or say. I love getting my big hugs, having friends to sit with at the Methodist Church on Sundays, and getting to serve a group that is often undervalued in our society.

Going to the center is a good reminder to enjoy youth while it lasts!!


One of the ladies brought me a cotton plant today because I told her I thought it was so cool how it actually grows in cotton balls on the plant! Here's a picture or two:

New Years

While everyone else was out partying in the new year, Dave and I were home fighting colds again. Poor Dave finally caught my cold a few days before he has to go back to class, so we stayed in. That's okay, I am really not much of a partier anyways. I love being home with my man, snuggled on the couch with snacks, movies, and in this case tissues and Airborne.

We opened a bottle of wine that was a Christmas gift from a friend. Clearly we didn't buy it for ourselves because we didn't even have a wine bottle opener! We had to improvise. Here's a picture of Dave tightening a screw into the cork before using pliers to pull it out. It was SO worth it. It was probably the most delicious wine I have ever had- fruity and sweet (pretty much the way I like any alcoholic drink). 

All of our wine glasses that we got as wedding gifts are in Dave's room in PA, so we drank our wine out of Oktoberfest beer mugs, finishing the bottle. Good wine, goat cheese, gummy bears and a great man - yummm! 

We watched Pitch Perfect (one of my new favorites), skipping through to watch each of the song performances. Dave is such a good sport :) We celebrated the New Year twice - first for our friends and family back home who are an hour ahead in time, and then just the two of us. 

A Berry Happy New Year to everyone! I hope 2013 brings me many more opportunities to make cheesy puns out of my awesome new last name!  More importantly, I hope it brings peace, love and joy to this world, and that we all do something worthwhile in the year to come. 

Here's a pic of Dave with his handsome Christmas beard. He shaved it off today in preparation for starting back to Army classes.  I miss the scruffy ruggedness, but he is still my handsome man! <3 

Survival and Stuff

After our big storm adventure, came our sickness adventure. I came down with a really bad cold, and Dave's body was on the verge of catching it. The great thing about getting sick over break is that you don't have to function like normal people, so you have a excuse to be couch bums.

Dave and I started watching this show on Netflix called Jericho. It's about a town out West that survives after every major city in the US is bombed.  The town bands together to survive and protect themselves from other towns that wanted their resources. You later find out it was our own government that did it to us. I'm not into conspiracy theories, and I usually don't like shows like this one, but I was hooked! We watched 31 episodes in 48 hours. Finishing a show like this is like finishing a season of 24, for a few days you feel like life is an adventure in HD, and you start noticing cars on the road, people walking past, and strange noises. Basically, you become a little paranoid because for the last 48 hours you have been living and dreaming about the world ending and needing to survive. Now it's pretty comical really, when you realize that you've started thinking like a weirdo, but since I am usually a bit naive when it comes to street smarts and common sense, maybe it's good to every once in a while realize that the world is not all rainbows and ponies.

Though the world went back to normal, I made a realization: if I were all of a sudden in a survival situation I would be completely helpless. Completely! Sure, I could figure out how to make a fire if I was lucky enough to have dry wood and matches or a lighter on hand (not likely). But I wouldn't know how to build a shelter, find food, or figure out how to stay alive if I was by myself. It's a little bit alarming when you think about how fragile humans are, and how reliant we are on our technology and comfortable living situations. I can't go two hours without a snack, let alone a day looking for food. I killed a chicken once in Africa, but I didn't have to find it first, or clean out the insides afterwards. And when it comes to snakes, bears and other predators...count me out!!

Before Jericho, we were watching this awesome show called Man, Woman, Wild. The husband. Mykel Hawk, was a captain in the US Special Forces. He takes his wife out into various wilderness situations and teaches her how to survive. He wants to know that his wife would be able to take care of herself . Dave feels the same way. He may be Mr. Survival Expert, but the reality is there could be a time when he isn't with me, like say a plane crash, car breaks down in the middle of nowhere, or, God forbid, I got kidnapped or something. I can't use a map. It could happen!

We took a drive into the nearest town with a mall (about 40 min away). First we hit up Barnes and Noble. We found the survival section and found Mykel Hawke's easy to read book about survival. There were many different books but this one seemed easiest for a beginner. It's actually quite funny in some parts and I like reading the different ways of starting a fire and building a shelter. I am actually pretty excited to try it out for practice. We also bought a book on identifying edible plants. When we get back in PA we will put together a bag we can grab in case of emergency. would have been nice to have one during our tornado adventure the other day.

We also hit up Dick's Sporting Goods. We checked out the sleeping bags and tents - always a good idea to have those things on hand, and unfortunately Dave's stuff is all back in PA at his parents' house. We were shocked when we got to the gun section, and it was completely bare except for a few hunting rifles and paintball guns, and there was no ammo to speak of. We've been hearing reports that people have been buying up all the guns and ammo around the country but it was shocking to actually see it. We are going to try to get on the waiting list for two different hand guns sold at a local shop. I am going to try to get my concealed carry license down here as well.

In the end, we bought some fire starters and a pepper spray gun for me. I had been wanting one for my walks alone to and from the senior center, since one of the ladies said she had been followed home the other day.


Now this probably all sounds extreme and paranoid. I know that I have nothing to truly fear because God will protect and provide. But I also think He gives us a brain connected to hands and feet so that we can learn to do things for ourselves as well. I don't want to sit around hoping for the best, knowing that I wouldn't survive a day in my own back yard if I had to. Plus, I'd like to know that in a crisis I wouldn't lose my head, but that I would be at Dave's side, rubbing sticks together and making a fire - caveman style!

First Married Christmas and a storm

Everyone told us we should stay in Disney for Christmas, but I have to say, we had the merriest of Christmases cozied up in our little apartment, just the two of us. I wouldn't have had our first married Christmas any other way!

On our way home from Orlando, Christmas Eve, we stopped in at our local Publix and bought all the yummy appetizer food we could get our hands on. It's my family's tradition to sit around the tree together and eat delicious cheeses, meats and spreads. The "samples guy" in the store really suckered me in with his little cheese and crackers and we bought the whole set!

We arrived home in time to go to the candlelight service at our local Methodist church. One of the seniors at the senior center had invited me, and we were in the mood for a more traditional Christmas service than the chapel on base would likely have had. The cute little church reminded me a lot of my grandmother's church and felt very homey. The congregation is very small, about 40 people, and 90% of them look to be above the age of 70. I recognized many faces from the senior center, and got a big, welcoming hug from the nice man who had invited us. The service was beautiful, and we both got teary a few times - missing our families but feeling so full of love for each other and for our God who came as a baby to save us. 

Back at home we got out all of our goodies, arranged the cheese and crackers, made a baked Brie with honey and berries, poured some sparkling cider and snuggled up together to eat our fill and reflect on a wonderful year. We each opened a gift. I got a warm stone massage kit from my thoughtful and loving husband who already gives me great massages every night before bed (seriously, I am so spoiled). He got a pretty wooden box set of the game Risk. 

Christmas morning we slept in and cooked a big breakfast before opening presents. We spent a few hours playing Dave's new games - Stratego and Risk (I ALMOST one a round of Stratego).

Around 4pm our phones started ringing emergency alerts from our radar app. They said that a tornado warning was declared for our area. I opened the door and started hearing the siren on base with the loudspeaker shouting "TORNADO WARNING! SEEK SHELTER IMMEDIATELY".  We looked around our apartment - no basement or good shelter here! Dave decided we would drive to base and go to their storm shelters. I filled up a water bottle, grabbed some snacks and we raced towards base. At the gate we asked where the shelter was located and the guard said that everything was closed for Christmas. GREAT! We turned around and raced home

The next 8 hours were very tense. Dave sat in front of the radar watching the meanest, reddest (with areas of purple!), scariest looking storm we had ever seen pass over us. I'm a northern gal, I want nothing to do with tornadoes! Dave laid towels in our tub and seriously freaked me out by saying that if only one of us could fit in it he wanted me to be the one. Thankfully we figure out a way to both get into the tub and be protected. The plan would be when we heard the tornado, we would pull the mattress into the bathroom and use it to sheild us in the tub. They say tornadoes sound like freight trains, whatever the heck that means. I guess we would know when we heard it. 

Our families and many friends stayed up with us watching the weather, praying and checking in. It was amazing. Dave watched cells in the storm get close to us and then disperse around us. There were 34 tornadoes over the course of the evening, and not a single one hit us. We barely even had heavy rain. A town next to us had a tornado go through a trailer park, but we were kept safe. That was the power of prayer at work! We're still thanking God for his protection of us, and for protecting our base and all of the very expensive aircraft that were out in the storm because it was Christmas and nobody was around to take them to safety. 

I was so relieved when the storm was beyond us at midnight. We fell into bed and had a much needed, peaceful sleep. What an adventure! 

Observations from my first four months in Alabama

I've been in Alabama for almost four months now. Here are a few observations about my new life down here so far:

- I am exceedingly lucky to have this time to rest and take care of a home and husband, with no other real responsibilities.

- The dishwasher is such a wonderful invention - It completes a whole task while I work on other things!


- People take their college football SERIOUSLY down here. It's a big deal.

- A common way to describe someone who is funny is to say "she's a mess!" It's not an insult, though you'd think it would be. It just means they are a little silly or off their rocker...I think...

- No matter how many times I try to adjust my grocery list, we always seem to run out of something several different times before our main shopping trip. Of course none of these items run out at the same time! I also found out how much milk a grown man drinks - we run out just about every other day! Maybe I should just buy us a milk cow!

- A small apartment is a cozy apartment, and so easy to keep clean!

- I have grown to love the 5pm  sound of "Retreat" on base. From our apartment, I can hear the song played over the loud speaker. Everyone on base is required to stop what they are doing, pull over to the side of the road, and stand for a moment of silence as the flag is being lowered. It is a sign of respect for the flag, and for the many man and women who have fought and are still fighting for our freedom. It fills me with pride every time I hear it. There's a morning wake up at 5am where "Revielle" is played, "Retreat" at 5:30pm when the work day is over, and then "Taps" is played at 10pm before bed. When we leave, I will truly miss hearing them!

- The Commissary - Oh what an experience! It's like a regular grocery store except for two things. First, you have to have a military ID to buy anything. Second, the baggers are all "volunteers"- but the normal type of volunteer who does something out of the goodness of his or her heart, without wanting a reward. The baggers at the commissary EXPECT a tip for their services. It's always incredibly awkward because they bag your groceries and then insist on pushing your cart, unloading them into your car, and then waiting for you to fish out a few bills for a tip. If you insist that you are able to push our own cart, they will either be mad that you cheated them out of a tip, or they will follow you out to the car anyways and wait expectantly. OR if you do let them push your cart, you feel like a jerk because you are more than capable of pushing it yourself. The only solution that we have found is to buy what you can hold yourself and go through the self checkout.

- When you drive through the gate, the gate guards say "Above the best" as their greeting. Sometimes, without thinking, you find yourself replying with "you too" and then feeling embarrassed.

- Southern hospitality is not a myth! People a very friendly and welcoming down here. They are also quick to trust strangers. I was so surprised when a new friend offered that I could borrow her car while she was on vacation. Even more surprising, was being able to volunteer without an interview, background check or references.

- Army wives make good friends. We "get" each other in a way others can't, because we are experiencing the same things and feeling many of the same emotions. It is nice to feel like, right off the bat, I have something that I can relate with a new friend about. I know our friends down here with be forever friends.

- I will never get tired of folding camo and Army uniforms. It's a reminder of the honorable man I married who is serving his country and making me so proud.

- A loving husband is such a precious and dear thing to have. I don't know where I would be without Dave's love, concern, commitment and friendship. He truly is the best of the best.

"...I put childish ways behind me."

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 1 Corinthians 13:11

I have been volunteering at the local senior center lately and sometimes I feel that I get more out of it than the seniors do. It's a nice chance for me to get out of the house and serve others. Last week, some women from a local church gave a small message and blessing for the seniors. I don't recall what the message was about because there was one part that really stuck to me and made me think. 

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child". 

Isn't that the truth!

I can't even count the number of silly things I have said or done as a child or young person. Just last night, Dave and I were sharing embarrassing moments, and I remembered a few that still make me cringe (For example: who tells their favorite teacher that she thinks her husband is "hott" because her friends dared her to?? Me. That's who. I still can't believe it to this day) We do silly things when we are young and can't see past the fun of the moment, or the desire to fit in with our peers, not thinking of the lasting harm to our reputations or others involved.  

"When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me"

This part really struck home. I am an adult now. I'm graduated, married, moved, and older than the young girl who did silly things. I have been thinking about the areas of life that change when you "grow up". Here are a few of my thoughts:

I had a great conversation with a friend several months ago who commiserated about the change that happens to a friendship when you grow up and get married. She had to stop letting a friend manipulate her as she had in their school days, and move into more "adult friendship".  Before then, I hadn't really put much thought into what it would mean to be friends when I became an adult, or if there would be any significant changes. I've decided that part of growing up is knowing that friendships are important, but not letting a friendship have control over your life. If it's a positive one, nurture it, but know when it's time to put distance in a relationship that isn't healthy.  It also means putting in the effort to keep up with friends, even when it's not easy or convenient. 

College ended. There's no more living a few feet away from a friend, and spending every free moment surrounded by others. I'm married now, and my husband comes first. That means sharing everything small detail with him, and not going into quite as much depth with my friends. Back in the day I remember sharing every detail of my boyfriend/girlfriend relationships with "the girls", but of course, mature husbands and wives are much more private out of respect for each other. Being an adult means also understanding that I may not get to see my friends as much as I used to. We have jobs, bills, husbands and someday children that need attention. That's why I remind myself to cherish a phone call, or thoughtful card, instead of wishing we had more time for each other. 

I've also come to the conclusion that an adult must be true to his or herself. This means that my convictions, opinions, and especially my faith, are not to be easily laid aside. There is no longer any excuse for not doing "the right thing", or saying what needs to be said. I'm past that stage where I didn't know myself and what I stood for, so it is time I stopped letting it bother me what others would say, and stick up for what is important. I remember when it was more crucial to have people like me than to do what I felt was right. Being an adult Christian means trying NOT to fit in with this sin filled world. Therefore, I am working on putting aside my childish ways and seeking approval from God.  

There is so much more I could write about this topic, but I think leaving this post on the briefer side (if I can really call it that) is better for my readers. I really love when a quote or a few lines of scripture creates in me an important inner turmoil. One that I grapple with and requires thought and growth on my part. 

Forgiveness - My Chains are Gone

"My chains are gone. I've been set free. My God, my Savior has ransomed me. 

And like a flood his mercy rains, 

Unending love, Amazing Grace" 

I absolutely love Chris Tomlin's Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone). Yesterday we sung this song in church and it moved me like it always does. It's hard not to feel a little bit choked up when you truly grasp the grace we have been given, though we don't deserve it.

Then, before bed, Dave and I continued our Bible reading through the book of Matthew. The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant in Matthew 18:21-35 caught my attention like it never had before. Has that ever happened to you? I've heard the story many times in my life, but for some reason didn't understand it as fully as I did last night. It was honestly a reminder that I really needed, an important one that I wanted to share.

One of the disciples asks Jesus how many times we must forgive others. He replies, "I tell you the truth, not seven times, but seventy times seven.."  I could probably do the math to figure our how many times that is, but the point is to always be forgiving. That's not easy! Sometimes I have trouble with forgiving the first time let alone the 7X77! Goodness, if I forgave someone that many times, I would have to be so full of love and grace I wouldn't be counting at all! (Point taken)

But Jesus goes on to make a greater point through a parable:

In his story, a king decides to settle his accounts with his servants. One servant owed him quite a debt, and since he could not pay it back, he and his wife and children were to be sold into slavery to repay the king. But the servant fell to his knees and begged for another chance to pay back what he owed. The king showed mercy, and cancelled the whole deficit, letting the servant walk away a free man. How do you forget a forgiveness like that?!

However, that same servant then found another servant who owed him money, and since that man couldn't pay him back, he had him thrown into jail until the debt was repaid. The fellow servant begged for mercy, but though the kings servant had just received an amazing grace of his own, he refused to give the man another chance.

Hearing what had happened, the king was furious. He handed the man over to the jailers to be tortured until his debt could be repaid.

And Jesus said, "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart". 

I'm not sure why, but it had never fully hit me that God IS that king in the story every single day with us. Daily forgiving us with grace we will never, ever deserve. And what do we do? We find every reason to take offense and hold something against a fellow sinner. In the story, it's amazing to me how the servant just received an amazing gift of forgiveness, from the king no less, but he seeks out another servant, someone in his very same position, and can't show him the same mercy. That a king would look on a lowly servant with mercy is amazing, so why do we forget that miracle every day in our interactions with others?

Because of our sin, we owe a huge debt that we can never repay. When we go against God and don't forgive others, Jesus has said we will will be held accountable for our own debts. The servant in the story was sentenced to be tortured until his could repay what he owed. I drew my own connection that if we can never repay our debts, and if we were sentenced to the same torture, it would be eternal. I'd say that makes it vitally important that we forgive others as Christ has forgiven us.

These are strong words, a promise that I admit almost hurt to read because of how it convicts me. However, the story can also reinforce our joy that we DO have a King who can forgive us. A King that somehow loves each of us, and cancels our debts when we cry out for mercy and forgiveness. "My chains are gone, I've been set free!" The question is, how will we respond to such a gift? Will we continue to have unforgiving hearts, or will we release others from their debts as a testament to the love we have received through Christ.