My thoughts about Santa Claus and Elf on the Shelf

Even though the leaves are just now starting to change in my area of Pennsylvania, Christmas is already on a lot of peoples' minds. I am already hearing how many weeks are left to shop and "get ready" for Christmas festivities. (I could get into a monologue about the true meaning of Christmas, but I'll leave that for another post)

If you know me, you have probably figured out that I have a hard time keeping quiet when I feel like there is something that needs to be said. With all of this talk about "playing Santa", and finding new hiding places for the "Elf on the Shelf", I would like to add my own thoughts. I realize this will probably be an unpopular post, and, disclaimer, I am NOT trying to offend anybody who reads this, but I feel the need to share why David and I will not have our future children believe in Santa Claus or Elf on the Shelf. 

First of all, society is obsessed enough with material possessions as it is. It feels like every Christmas must be more and more extravagant than the last, and we have to start shopping earlier, and, hey, lets add a creepy new tradition of putting an Elf on the shelf to spy on our kids for Santa...and as if that's not enough, let's move the elf around the house each night and have it do mischievous things like break a dish or knock over a container of flour and leave foot prints (not kidding, some people take it that far)...

You may be thinking that I don't know what I am missing, but you're wrong.

I DID grow up believing in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy etc... To a child, what could be more exciting than a magical being that gives us gifts?! I got some great gifts from "Santa", and was always amazed that I could never catch a glimpse of him, no matter how hard I tried.  I still remember the evening that I found out Santa wasn't real. I was furious, not just because I was mad that in the universe there did not exist a jolly fat man that brings children presents, but also at my parents for lying to me about it. "If you lied to me about this, what else did you lie to me about? How do I know anything you say is true?". Yes, I was a very dramatic and inquisitive child. Now, this experience didn't scar me for life or anything, but it did ruin that innocent belief that I could trust everything my parents told me.

David did not grow up believing in Santa. He knew that Santa was a "fun pretend tradition" for the holiday, and that it was not his place to tell other children the truth, it was their parents' job.

In this cruel and unpredictable world we live in, I believe children should be able to trust their parents. It's our job to be their teachers, and to set the example for them to follow. I just don't feel right about carrying out a lie year after year, and having to make it more and more extravagant so that they continue to believe when their intelligent minds start to question its validity.

This leads me to my next reason:

I don't want to ever have a moment where my children say to David and I, "If you lied to me about Santa being real, did you lie to me about Jesus too?" It would be hard to restore my credibility after a question like that.

Even if you aren't a Christian, you can see how lying to our children destroys their ability to have faith in what we say. Not only that, but using Santa or the Elf on a Shelf as a threat to make children behave, is, in my opinion, just a crutch for proper parenting (Not to mention I find Elf on the Shelf to be incredibly creepy - I don't want my kids worrying that a little doll is watching them all day and reporting their behavior to Santa). Children shouldn't behave just to earn gifts, or out of fear from the threat that gifts will not be given if they are bad! I don't want my children thinking that they "deserve" or are entitled to a reward for being good or obeying their parents either.

Finally, my most important reason: Christmas is about JESUS! It's the celebration of Christ's birth, or at least it is supposed to be. I want to make sure that the traditions my children take away from Christmas are: celebrating God's Son coming into this world to be our Savior, being together as a family, a beautiful candlelight church service, and sure, exchanging a few gifts with each other - in that order! Yes, we will still do presents on Christmas, but they will be addressed from their proper gift givers - David and I -  the people who actually do care if they behave, and who love them, and want them to have good things in life - NOT Santa.

As far as addressing your fears that my children will ruin Santa for your children. David and I hope to raise friendly respectful children that will be told not to ruin other families' traditions.  No promises, but we really aren't trying to spoil everyone else's fun! 

So there it is, the reasons that our future children will not believe in Santa Claus or Elf on the Shelf. Again, this is my own opinion and belief. It is not meant to upset anybody who does enjoy the tradition of Santa. This post is not supposed to start an argument either. It's just my own outlet for my opinion. It's supposed to be  food for thought. 

A Beautiful Walk with my Bible App

Dave is at drill today, flying till very late tonight. I've got a listening ear to the skies for the "wop wop wop.." of a helicopter, in case he flies over the house (we live in the flight path of Fort Indiantown Gap's helicopters). What do I do when Dave is gone on a beautiful Saturday? Cleaning for most of the day, since the place usually needs it after a week of me working - somehow I always get a lot more done when Dave isn't here. However, today the sunshine was calling to me, and finally convinced me that I needed to be outside. I sat out in a lawn chair for a while tanning, and listening to the Book of Esther in the Bible. Then I decided that I should go for a walk, and get some exercise even though it's a lot less fun without Dave.

I did several laps around the park and down Main street, saw my brother and sister in law who were also out enjoying the day, and listened to most of the Book of Job. The Bible app on my phone is AWESOME. It has audio versions of the Bible, and the reader is excellent. It's helping me get through the Old Testament and finally meet my goal of finishing the Bible that I set over a year ago. 

So there I was taking care of my body and my soul, on a great walk, on a perfect afternoon... it struck me that listening to Job was really powerful. Sometimes when I read I am not getting the full impact of the words, but listening to the story, and Job's lament really caught my attention. It was like he was walking next to me, pouring out his troubles.

That's the awesome thing about The Bible. These stories are real. They are about real people who had emotions, struggles, and who lived lives that didn't always go as they had planned. Many of these people did amazing things through their faith in God. When I was listening to Esther and Job, I was noticing similarities to my own life, and identifying with some of their emotions. I'm so thankful to have The Bible, not just for it's instruction, or for God's Word, but to read the stories of people who lived thousands of years ago,  who struggled with the same things we struggle with today, and who believed in the the same God. 

Lately my goal has been to work on renewing my mind by changing the things I am putting in it. Listening to and reading the Bible, Worship and Praise music on my commutes and while I exercise, deciding against a vulgar popular movie on Netflix, and trying to be more positive in my outlook and interactions with others, and trying to pray more often throughout the day. It has made a huge difference for me, and I would recommend trying this for anyone who has been feeling negative or "down in the dumps".

FYI - this is what the Bible App I use looks like

Summer 2013

Summer 2013.... quite possibly more life changes than Summer 2012!

The last time I had a chance to post, David had graduated Flight School, and we had moved back to PA to live with his parents until we found jobs and a place to live. 

In May we had fun buying our first furniture sets, but we had to post pone delivery as we didn't have a place to live yet. Job hunting was stressful and we were anxious to get our lives figured out (if that's even possible - lol). In June we began apartment hunting, and found a townhouse that we really loved. We wanted to sign the lease but were afraid to do so since neither of us had jobs yet and we didn't want to blow through our savings just to have our own place again. Just when we thought we were going to have to give up the townhouse, I was called to interview for a job I had applied for months earlier. The interview went well, and as I was getting in my car to go home, I got a call back that they wanted to offer me the job! God's timing was perfect, not only did I get a really great job, but we were able to move into a beautiful home before I started work! 

Dave was gone the week we moved to Linglestown, so his mom helped me clean our new place and move everything in. We spent the week scrubbing and unpacking. Lucky Dave, he returned home and all the unpacking had already been done!   

Our cute little place! It's perfectly situated to be about a 15 minute drive for each of us to get to work (give or take traffic), close to shopping centers, and across the street from a beautiful park. We are also right off the main street that has cute little shops and places to eat. Dave and I take a walk every night, and enjoy seeing all of the sports teams practicing at the park, in what seems to be a very active community. We can see ourselves staying here long term and raising a family! We are also 5 minutes down the road from David's brother and his wife! Another reason to love the area is that we get to see helicopters flying overhead - not as many as at Fort Rucker, but still enough to get excited about! 

Dave's Mom was a huge help to me during our second move of the summer. She even mowed our lawn! (Real world...having a lawn to mow)

 Living/dining area (not fully unpacked in this one)

My adorable and very helpful husband in the kitchen. 

Unpacked living room. It's very cozy!

Here's our bedroom. We bought our bedspread more than a year ago and I was absolutely dying to get it set up. It looks great with the bedroom set David surprised me with :)

We have a guest room, so friends and family are welcome to stay!

On one of our walks we found a church that is just down the road from our house, we decided to check it out since we were church shopping. We absolutely loved it, and are happy to have what we think will be our church home. For someone who grew up driving an hour to church on Sundays, being able to walk to church is amazing! 

First day of work! Kendall Berry, BSW! 

Now to say a few things about my new job... I love it! I had a difficult transition back to working, but it has absolutely been the best thing for me. Like they say, "For everything there is a season". I spent almost a year not working when we were in Alabama. I needed that time to relax and de-stress after burning myself out senior year of college, and being incredibly stressed all summer planning our wedding and dealing with some difficult things that happened. That time was precious, I gained back all the weight I had unintentionally lost from stress and anxiety the previous year, and I was able to focus on my new role as a wife. I cooked, cleaned, supported David while he was in a critical part of Flight School, and got to read more than thirty books! I volunteered at a senior center, but didn't need to worry about working yet. All of this was great, but I became very inactive. I didn't have a car, so I mostly stayed home, slept in late, read books, took naps, and got to be really lazy. I noticed that I didn't have much energy, and I didn't want to do anything when Dave got home from school either. I honestly thought there was something wrong with me that made me feel so tired and antisocial (there was! it's called inactivity!). I worried that I wouldn't be able to work because I was so tired all the time!  I've discovered that attitude and environment are everything!

I started my new job in July- Social Worker at a nursing home in Harrisburg. The first several weeks my body hated me. It was used to sleeping in, naps and lounging around. I felt sick, and tired for a few weeks. My heart rate felt like it was constantly elevated because just walking around all day was exertion for a body that was used to being at rest. But my body adjusted! I started coming home with more energy than I ever had after a day of relaxing! I spend my day on my feet running back and forth between my Dementia/Alzheimer's floor, and my Long Term Care floor. I'm surrounded by great people. I make an effort to be positive and smile when I am at work, and listen to positive and uplifting music on my commutes. This has made a night and day difference for me - now that I am active, positive, smiling, doing something meaningful, and being mentally stimulated - I feel like myself again! I haven't felt so wonderful in at least a year, and I feel so incredibly happy and blessed to be back to the positive mindset I've always had. 

The real world is definitely a little scary. This is my first real job, and I am slowly figuring out what I am doing. Sure, I have a degree, but there are so many job specific things that I am learning. I can't wait till I feel like I am on top of my work responsibilities! Dave has been a huge help. He has a sporadic flying schedule, so he has been supporting me by making me breakfast in the morning (I am NOT a morning person), and getting dinner started before I get home. With my new-found energy we have been a lot more spontaneous with our free time too! 

 We went on a trip to Memorial Lake on base to watch the sunset one evening. 

 Last night we met David's parents at their camp site at Gifford Pinchot State park for a camp fire, Mountain Pies, S'mores and a nice relaxing evening with family. 

 See the Mountain Pie maker in the coals?

Dave is super excited about Mountain Pies!

We are coming up on our ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!! Stay tuned!

This Summer flew by! As the mornings have gotten chillier, I am remembering that this is the North, and I will have to deal with a Norther winter soon :( Good thing Fall comes first. I can totally get into sweater and boots season!

Annual Training

Dave is at AT right now - his two week summer training for the National Guard. Sometimes I feel like the worst army wife in the world. I know so many brave, strong ladies that have months to wait for their soldier to get back from a war zone, and I can't stand Dave being gone for his monthly drill weekends, let alone two whole weeks! I have a lot to learn from those women if it becomes my time to truly be apart from my husband.

Though most of our relationship had been long distance, the last 9 months of marriage (yes! NINE already!) have really spoiled me.  Particularly this last month and a half, where we literally were with each other every second of every day.

I can't wait for Dave to get home! Thankfully I have great friends, and a mother-in-law who is now on summer vacation, and will do stuff with me to take my mind off of missing Dave! Today we went on a Girl's Day trip to Lancaster county, where we went to some of the places we have read about in our favorite Amish series by Beverly Lewis. It's so fun to share interests and to be so close with my mother-in-law, I know that not everyone is so blessed.

Mom Berry and I at Good n' Plenty eating an Amish style lunch before checking out quilt shops and hand crafted furniture! 

I love this picture from Amish Country! 

Our life since Alabama - This one is gonna be lengthy!

Here are a few updates about the crazy month since we move back from LA (Lower Alabama -haha!) It's going to be a lengthy post! :

I pretty much cried every day leading up to moving away from our first home in Alabama. Yes. This Yankee wishes she was a Southern girl! I love all of the people I met down South, and I want to stay in the beautiful weather! Not to mention I got offered my dream job at the Senior Center I was volunteering at, and we were about to head into the great unknown of having no jobs.

Graduation week was crazy, and awesome, and busy!

Here is a picture from the military ball before graduation. Photo Credit: Ross Rippy

 Dave's parents came down for the week. Here we are enjoying Family Day!

 Dave flying and me shooting :)

We had a lot of fun seeing the Apaches up close, and Dave even got us into the simulator to practice flying them!

Dave's dad is a bit of a celebrity in the flying community.  Back in his Navy Fighter Pilot days, he and another pilot were the ones who actually flew upside down over an enemy plane to take a picture of the cockpit. This move was made famous in the movie Top Gun, but they were not credited for it. He enjoyed giving out autographed copies of the real picture to Dave's flight school friends. He was even able to give one to the Aviation Museum down there! 

I was the proudest wife alive when David was made Distinguished Honor Grad for the Apache class, and I got to pin on his long awaited wings! I love him to pieces!

 Pinning the wings on!

 So proud 

More than 6 years of hard work went into getting those wings! 

"Flying High, Above the Best!"

After the wings were pinned, the Army Song sung, and pictures taken, things moved in a blur. Dave ran around getting out-processed from Fort Rucker, and the rest of us worked on packing our apartment and literally stuffing everything into two vehicles. It was only by the grace of God that we got everything to fit, and that the cloth top of the Jeep didn't explode. We couldn't have done it without Dave's parents. Dad Berry was on his feet all day fitting our things into cars like a big puzzle, and Mom Berry (who amazingly actually enjoys helping people move) helped me get our place looking even better than we found it! Our landlord was happy with the furniture we had to leave behind, and we got our full security deposit back ! Ka-ching! 

I literally "busted my butt" getting ready to move. The washing machine was spinning out of control and I got the bright idea that sitting on it would fix it. So I hopped right up and banged my tailbone, which sure made the 18 hour car ride comfortable... (my tailbone is actually still bothering me). 

Tired and sad to leave our first home

The car ride to PA went really well considering how tightly packed and loaded down the cars were. Dave's poor Jeep will need a new soft top. His driver side window actually came unstitched and he had to hold it closed with one hand until we could tape it all together again. We couldn't talk to each other because it was as loud as a hurricane driving on the interstate!  The highlight of our two day journey was seeing our good friends Lee and Amanda for breakfast after the best hotel stay ever at the Resident's Inn (seriously the most comfortable hotel I have ever stayed at). 

 See what I mean?

It's hard to believe a month and a half has gone by. I had forgotten how lovely the mountains of Pennsylvania are, and how wonderful it is to be around friends, family, and familiar places! I am also glad to be in a place where I don't have to hide in my bath tub when "severe" weather comes through! We have been super busy with job searches, Army stuff, Dave's brother's wedding, and going to MA to visit my family. 

We have been living at Dave's parents house until we find jobs. It has been a joy to be with family and to make up for lost time. We are a bit tight with all of our things piled in the basement and in our bedroom, but we couldn't be more thankful for a place to live and a home full of love. We are excited to find a place, especially when we see all of the unused wedding gifts that didn't come to Alabama with us. I am itching to get at my waffle maker and absolutely dying to use the bedspread we purchased over a year ago. Because we don't want to disturb our boxes till we have a place, we have been living out of the same overnight bag of clothes that we threw together for our move, so I am also psyched to wear something new! Dave and I bought a new mattress and a couch set that will not be delivered till we have an apartment. So basically, we have furniture and lots of stuff, but still need to work on finding a place to put it in!

 I've been interviewing for jobs left and right, with no luck so far. I know there are so many other college grads in my position, wondering if we will ever get a chance to use our expensive degrees. Someday when I am in charge of hiring new employees, I am going to remember how hard it was to be unemployed and not have people return phone calls, or let you know when they didn't choose you for a position. I'm considering babysitting for the summer so that we can have some money coming in. 

PennDot is seriously THE WORST. I went to get my PA license and it was a NIGHTMARE. Not only was the guy super rude to Dave, who happened to be uniform at the time, but he acted like I was some sort of criminal. I had my MA license, birth certificate, passport, marriage license, social security card,  military id, and affadavit from Dave saying I live with him, and that was not enough to prove that I live in PA! Apparently being married to a PA resident doesn't mean that I am living with him. So I had to go home and have friends write me letters to my new PA address. THEN,when I go back with all required documents, the guy tells me "I doubt this will go through. You are from MA which makes you a suspect". Me: "seriously?". Him: "Yes. And you will have to pass an FBI and CIA background check". (Me? A suspect?) Thankfully I passed and, to the disappointment of the employee helping me, was issued a license for the great state of Pennsylvania. They also made my life hard about getting plates for my car. 

We flew to Massachusetts for a brief visit with my family. We had a lovely time, and got to see my favorite ocean town on the East coast - Rockport. (Of course the South has turned me into an absolute beach snob, so I almost cried when I put my toes in the freezing cold Atlantic ocean). We got to see my brother get promoted after his time in boot camp. I am so proud of him! We did a camp fire up at Pineshore with friends - drinking Wachusett Summers at Wachusett, and eating the first S'mores of the season. The best part of being home was relaxing with family in my parents comfortable and welcoming house, and not having to think about wedding details like the last time I was home! We were sad to go!

 Even though my Moby the blue whale of a minivan has been more trouble than it is worth, I was so incredibly happy to be driving it again. We drove it home to PA and are enjoying having two vehicles again.

 A picture from Gus's promotion ceremony

 Rockport! Mary Poppins style!

Now we are back in PA, and Dave is at his two weeks of summer training. 

Comments

A few of you may have noticed that you are no longer able to comment on my blog.  Sorry guys, but this is one of those situations where the actions of a few mess things up for everyone else...

I keep this blog for friends and family who want to hear about my life, and also because I enjoy putting my thoughts and experiences out there. I like to pretend that I have avid readers who can't wait to hear about my next adventure (even if that is probably a bit of a stretch). :) I've taken a break from blogging this past month mostly because I have been incredibly busy, but also because I got a nasty round of comments that ruined blogging for me for a bit.

I got several nasty comments this spring that honestly left me in tears. There was one in particular that ripped Dave and I to pieces and left me shocked. I spent several days obsessed with looking through my Facebook friends and trying to figure out who would write those kind of things, because, yes, whoever did was cowardly and left his or her thoughts anonymously. (Really people? Can't you own up to your words if that's what you really think?)  My hope is that those several comments were actually just incredibly bored strangers that stumbled upon my blog and decided to ruin my day. 

So here's the deal: No more comments on my blog, but feel free to contact me personally if you want to chat about a post. Also, if you don't like me, or if you don't like hearing what is going on in my life, please feel free to stop reading my blog!

Okay, enough of that serious stuff. Thank you to all of my friends and family who read and support my blog, I hope you continue to enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it! 

Rest In Peace

Just wanted to take a moment to honor two men that lost their lives today in Afghanistan. Both men were Apache pilot's from Dave's unit in PA. I pray that the families of both of those men find comfort in such a difficult time.

I honestly can't imagine how devastating this lost must be for the wives of these men, but it sure hits close to home.

Here is the news story:
http://www.abc27.com/story/21932242/2-pa-national-guard-soldiers-killed-in-afghanistand