Thursday, February 19, 2015

The moment you've been waiting for..

Dear friends, 
The moment you've all been waiting for has arrived. Scratch that, the moment I hope none of you have been secretly wishing on me has arrived.

That moment being the moment I stopped being able to eat whatever I want, not exercise, and remain rail thin. Yeah that moment happened about a month ago. It arrived with no advanced warning or explanation, and I probably wouldn't have even noticed if I didn't wake up one morning last week and quite literally could not fit into a single pair of work pants when I was getting ready.  Like, I actually heard something rip in the process of trying to stuff myself in, and it was terrible, I think I cried a tiny bit. I finally found a pair from high school ( back when Mom would only buy things for me with 'room to grow'. such wisdom!) the style was low rise so every time I bent over throughout the day I was holding my shirt down over my crack, not so flattering... (Thank goodness higher waists are in now. Seriously.) With the prospect of having no pants, needless to say, I had to go shopping asap - there's a silver lining to everything.

Now, I realize nobody, probably not a single person reading this, will feel bad for me, but you have to admit it does suck a little! It's fine, I understand you're currently still gleefully giggling over the image of me ripping my pants trying to button them.  ._.

 In reality, I've been trying to gain weight for years now with no luck, and secretly enjoying that I could eat all the fattening foods I wanted- like a whole batch of buffalo dip over a weekend, full fat yogurts, Nutella, cream, butter, cheese on everything, dessert several times a day, and my personal favorite snack- cheese nachos dipped in warm cream cheese with salsa . YUM.

Part of me is pleased. I want to be a healthy weight, especially with the thought of starting a family sometime soon, and knowing that being underweight can cause as many health risks as being overweight. And I do think I look good with a few extra pounds (can I choose which areas will get bigger? No? Darn it).  I'm just realizing that as I turn 25, I need to stop thinking like a 21 year old when it comes to caring for my (aging) body. I need to start and CONTINUE an exercise routine, eat better, and overall just care more about starting healthy habits now that I'll continue the rest of my life. 

~Kendall