Mid-20's Observation #1

So, there's this one thing I have yet to master now that I'm a mid-20s adult (okay, way more than one thing)... 

Folding fitted sheets...

Am I right?! 

I could be having a serene, relaxing evening, doing a little laundry, enjoying the satisfying accomplishment of warm, clean clothes. (Laundry is actually my favorite chore, maybe because it mostly does itself).  Then, I come across a fitted sheet, and I find myself having a moment of rage so disproportionate to the task it's almost comical.

"No big deal", I tell myself when I first see that clump of sheets with elastic corners.

Then, somewhere between picking out the still damp socks that got tucked inside, pairing the corners together, and attempting to make a shape that can be neatly folded, something inside me snaps. 

I let out an "ughhrawarrrr", and violently karate chop that sucker into ball to stuff into my otherwise neat linen shelf.

Then back to the towels for some rectangle therapy. 

Sharing the Good News

1 Peter 3:15 : 

"But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have..."

I've been thinking lately about my own awkwardness and discomfort when put on the spot about my faith. I love to talk about my relationship with God, but I can be easily intimidated by the tough questions others may ask. I'm so concerned that I will give them the wrong answer, that I end up fumbling and bumbling around what I am trying to say. I usually end up kicking myself later when I've finally come up with the perfect way to word what I was thinking- too late. I've certainly always been more comfortable with acting out my faith than with speaking about  it. However, lately I've been feeling convicted that I need to stop using my own comfort levels as an excuse.

Last night an analogy came to me that really drove home to me the importance of sharing my faith with others:

If I had foreknowledge of a huge national disaster or tragedy before it had occurred, say for example a tsunami, or a forest fire was coming our way, there is no doubt in my mind that I would be running from neighbor to neighbor warning them.  On my way out of town I'd be yelling out the windows of my car, and running into gas stations to warn total strangers of what I knew was coming. I'd be banging on doors, shaking people awake, and causing a scene - and it would be worth it! I would want to let every single person that I physically could reach or contact know that they were in danger so that they could save themselves.

How is this any different from the situation we face as Christians every single day on Earth? We know and believe in our hearts that the knowledge of our Savior can save multitudes of people for Christ. We believe that hearing and believing the Good News of Jesus is literally a matter of eternal LIFE or DEATH! Forget total strangers for a moment, why am I not at the very least taking every effort to introduce family, friends, coworkers and other people I care about to God? I mean, really, If I say that I care about someone, why wouldn't it be a top priority for me to pray for them and at least plant the seed that could save their life? Going back to people I don't know, if I wouldn't leave a perfect stranger to die or go through a disaster alone, why do I avoid bringing up their relationship with the Creator?

A few years ago I saw a YouTube video made by atheist comedian, Penn Jillette. He makes a profound statement about proselytizing (trying to convert non-believers)  that I think all Christians (an non-Christians) should take very seriously. He says:

“I’ve always said that I don’t respect people who don’t proselytize.... If you believe that there’s a heaven and a hell, and people could be going to hell or not getting eternal life, and you think that it’s not really worth telling them this because it would make it socially awkward – and atheists who think people shouldn’t proselytize and who say just leave me alone and keep your religion to yourself – how much do you have to hate somebody to not proselytize? How much do you have to hate somebody to believe everlasting life is possible and not tell them that?"
(The Full Video is here)

What answer can I give him? 


What if one day we stand before God to give an account of our life and we are presented with a number. Not the number of good deeds we've done, or the amount of money we had given to the church, or even the number of times we've used God's name in vain. What if we were presented with the devastating number of the hundreds (or maybe thousands?) of people the might have entered the kingdom of Heaven if we had just talked to them about Jesus? 

It gives me the chills just thinking about it...

(Photo from http://admiralcreedy.blogspot.com/2011/07/wonder-of-cross.html)

When Girls "Bash" their Guys

There are few things I find to be more hurtful to a relationship than when one partner "bashes" the other. I'm not talking about physical abuse, I'm talking about when one partner decides it's okay to speak badly about the other in public.

I'm not trying to stereotype, but I've noticed that women can be especially bad with this. We've all been at a work function, or a "Girl's Night Out" that turns into a complaining session about everyone's boyfriends or husbands. Someone's man is awful at this or that. Someone else's is fat, or lazy or has some other unappealing flaw. Or other women just can't wait till their man is out of town because life is better or easier when they aren't around. Sometimes these gripe sessions turn into a competition of who has the worst situation - each woman trying to one up the others. It's incredibly sad! It makes me want to ask, "Don't you realize that you are only making your problems WORSE by disrespecting your relationship this way? Maybe those things are true, certainly every relationship has its ups and downs, but this is not the solution!" I truly believe that if those things are going to get better, it's going to take love and honesty with each other, not complaining to everyone else or turning it into a joke. Perhaps some of these women have given up hope that their situations can get better... if that's the case, the LAST thing they need to hear is "wow you're right, he sounds as bad as my husband..."

I can't decide which is worse, talking bad about a loved one behind their back, or making fun of them in front of others. It appears that some women must have really low respect for their men, if they are not only willing to make fun of them when they aren't around, but also to their face, and in front of his friends. I feel myself cringe inwardly when I see ladies publicly humiliate their man in front of others. It's not funny, it's not cute. It just makes the rest of the crowd either feel awkward, or leads to more negative or hurtful poking fun. Not to mention, you are revealing an inner desire to build yourself up by putting others down - in this case, of all people, someone you are supposed to love and cherish.

Some readers may be thinking that I am being judgmental of relationship issues I haven't faced myself. This is probably true to some extent. I am incredibly blessed to have a husband that, in my opinion, is the sweetest and most considerate man on Earth. I don't think I could find a bad thing to say about David if I tried, which certainly makes it easier to have good things to say about him. That being said, we are both human, and every relationship will have problems to work through together. Key word : together. As in between him, and me, and God.

I'm not saying that every issue or problem should be hidden, or that people should put on a false front, pretending they have the perfect relationship. If there is something personal that is bothering me in any aspect of my life or relationship, I think it's okay to share those thoughts with my "nearest and dearest". Meaning, I have a select few best friends and family members that genuinely want to encourage me to make things better. These are the people that care about both me and my husband.  I can rely on them to keep the conversation confidential, to offer suggestions and advice, and to tell me when I am actually the one with the problem (which is frequently the case)...not those people that are just looking for some juicy gossip to pass on, or want to egg me on in my negative thinking. Plus, when my coworkers or acquaintances meet David for the first time, I want to have paved a way before the introduction - a path of reasons that I love him and am proud of him.

In my wedding vows to David I said :

 "...I vow to uphold you in prayer, and submit my heart to you; to always be by and on your side, that the presence of the Lord reside in our home..."

I said it, and I meant it. No matter how satisfying it may feel to gossip... No matter the desire to have frustrated/negative feelings justified by others.. No matter how easy it is to want to be part of the crowd or conversation... I will only say positive and uplifting things about David behind his back and in public.  

I am a firm believer that my marriage will not flourish if David and I don't stand by each other, and for each other. I cannot explain the peace and reassurance it is to know that David will only say good things about me to others. We trust one another to build each other up, and at the same time, we are cementing our strong bond so that we can survive any conflict that comes our way. 

I would really encourage all of my readers to think about the message they are sending to others about their significant other. Is it loving? Is it kind? Does it strengthen your relationship, or weaken it? If you can't say something nice, be silent. 

 "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." Ephesians 4:29 

 

(Photo by Sherei Jackson Photography)

Spoiled

I'm feeling incredibly spoiled this morning.  Dave makes me breakfast every morning before work even though he could sleep in. This morning while I eat my bagel and sausage, Dave is shoveling out my car after last nights snow storm.  I just looked over and noticed that he had laid out my coat in front of the fire place so that it would be warm when I put it on. He's a sweetheart <3 

My thoughts about Santa Claus and Elf on the Shelf

Even though the leaves are just now starting to change in my area of Pennsylvania, Christmas is already on a lot of peoples' minds. I am already hearing how many weeks are left to shop and "get ready" for Christmas festivities. (I could get into a monologue about the true meaning of Christmas, but I'll leave that for another post)

If you know me, you have probably figured out that I have a hard time keeping quiet when I feel like there is something that needs to be said. With all of this talk about "playing Santa", and finding new hiding places for the "Elf on the Shelf", I would like to add my own thoughts. I realize this will probably be an unpopular post, and, disclaimer, I am NOT trying to offend anybody who reads this, but I feel the need to share why David and I will not have our future children believe in Santa Claus or Elf on the Shelf. 

First of all, society is obsessed enough with material possessions as it is. It feels like every Christmas must be more and more extravagant than the last, and we have to start shopping earlier, and, hey, lets add a creepy new tradition of putting an Elf on the shelf to spy on our kids for Santa...and as if that's not enough, let's move the elf around the house each night and have it do mischievous things like break a dish or knock over a container of flour and leave foot prints (not kidding, some people take it that far)...

You may be thinking that I don't know what I am missing, but you're wrong.

I DID grow up believing in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy etc... To a child, what could be more exciting than a magical being that gives us gifts?! I got some great gifts from "Santa", and was always amazed that I could never catch a glimpse of him, no matter how hard I tried.  I still remember the evening that I found out Santa wasn't real. I was furious, not just because I was mad that in the universe there did not exist a jolly fat man that brings children presents, but also at my parents for lying to me about it. "If you lied to me about this, what else did you lie to me about? How do I know anything you say is true?". Yes, I was a very dramatic and inquisitive child. Now, this experience didn't scar me for life or anything, but it did ruin that innocent belief that I could trust everything my parents told me.

David did not grow up believing in Santa. He knew that Santa was a "fun pretend tradition" for the holiday, and that it was not his place to tell other children the truth, it was their parents' job.

In this cruel and unpredictable world we live in, I believe children should be able to trust their parents. It's our job to be their teachers, and to set the example for them to follow. I just don't feel right about carrying out a lie year after year, and having to make it more and more extravagant so that they continue to believe when their intelligent minds start to question its validity.

This leads me to my next reason:

I don't want to ever have a moment where my children say to David and I, "If you lied to me about Santa being real, did you lie to me about Jesus too?" It would be hard to restore my credibility after a question like that.

Even if you aren't a Christian, you can see how lying to our children destroys their ability to have faith in what we say. Not only that, but using Santa or the Elf on a Shelf as a threat to make children behave, is, in my opinion, just a crutch for proper parenting (Not to mention I find Elf on the Shelf to be incredibly creepy - I don't want my kids worrying that a little doll is watching them all day and reporting their behavior to Santa). Children shouldn't behave just to earn gifts, or out of fear from the threat that gifts will not be given if they are bad! I don't want my children thinking that they "deserve" or are entitled to a reward for being good or obeying their parents either.

Finally, my most important reason: Christmas is about JESUS! It's the celebration of Christ's birth, or at least it is supposed to be. I want to make sure that the traditions my children take away from Christmas are: celebrating God's Son coming into this world to be our Savior, being together as a family, a beautiful candlelight church service, and sure, exchanging a few gifts with each other - in that order! Yes, we will still do presents on Christmas, but they will be addressed from their proper gift givers - David and I -  the people who actually do care if they behave, and who love them, and want them to have good things in life - NOT Santa.

As far as addressing your fears that my children will ruin Santa for your children. David and I hope to raise friendly respectful children that will be told not to ruin other families' traditions.  No promises, but we really aren't trying to spoil everyone else's fun! 

So there it is, the reasons that our future children will not believe in Santa Claus or Elf on the Shelf. Again, this is my own opinion and belief. It is not meant to upset anybody who does enjoy the tradition of Santa. This post is not supposed to start an argument either. It's just my own outlet for my opinion. It's supposed to be  food for thought. 

A Beautiful Walk with my Bible App

Dave is at drill today, flying till very late tonight. I've got a listening ear to the skies for the "wop wop wop.." of a helicopter, in case he flies over the house (we live in the flight path of Fort Indiantown Gap's helicopters). What do I do when Dave is gone on a beautiful Saturday? Cleaning for most of the day, since the place usually needs it after a week of me working - somehow I always get a lot more done when Dave isn't here. However, today the sunshine was calling to me, and finally convinced me that I needed to be outside. I sat out in a lawn chair for a while tanning, and listening to the Book of Esther in the Bible. Then I decided that I should go for a walk, and get some exercise even though it's a lot less fun without Dave.

I did several laps around the park and down Main street, saw my brother and sister in law who were also out enjoying the day, and listened to most of the Book of Job. The Bible app on my phone is AWESOME. It has audio versions of the Bible, and the reader is excellent. It's helping me get through the Old Testament and finally meet my goal of finishing the Bible that I set over a year ago. 

So there I was taking care of my body and my soul, on a great walk, on a perfect afternoon... it struck me that listening to Job was really powerful. Sometimes when I read I am not getting the full impact of the words, but listening to the story, and Job's lament really caught my attention. It was like he was walking next to me, pouring out his troubles.

That's the awesome thing about The Bible. These stories are real. They are about real people who had emotions, struggles, and who lived lives that didn't always go as they had planned. Many of these people did amazing things through their faith in God. When I was listening to Esther and Job, I was noticing similarities to my own life, and identifying with some of their emotions. I'm so thankful to have The Bible, not just for it's instruction, or for God's Word, but to read the stories of people who lived thousands of years ago,  who struggled with the same things we struggle with today, and who believed in the the same God. 

Lately my goal has been to work on renewing my mind by changing the things I am putting in it. Listening to and reading the Bible, Worship and Praise music on my commutes and while I exercise, deciding against a vulgar popular movie on Netflix, and trying to be more positive in my outlook and interactions with others, and trying to pray more often throughout the day. It has made a huge difference for me, and I would recommend trying this for anyone who has been feeling negative or "down in the dumps".

FYI - this is what the Bible App I use looks like

Summer 2013

Summer 2013.... quite possibly more life changes than Summer 2012!

The last time I had a chance to post, David had graduated Flight School, and we had moved back to PA to live with his parents until we found jobs and a place to live. 

In May we had fun buying our first furniture sets, but we had to post pone delivery as we didn't have a place to live yet. Job hunting was stressful and we were anxious to get our lives figured out (if that's even possible - lol). In June we began apartment hunting, and found a townhouse that we really loved. We wanted to sign the lease but were afraid to do so since neither of us had jobs yet and we didn't want to blow through our savings just to have our own place again. Just when we thought we were going to have to give up the townhouse, I was called to interview for a job I had applied for months earlier. The interview went well, and as I was getting in my car to go home, I got a call back that they wanted to offer me the job! God's timing was perfect, not only did I get a really great job, but we were able to move into a beautiful home before I started work! 

Dave was gone the week we moved to Linglestown, so his mom helped me clean our new place and move everything in. We spent the week scrubbing and unpacking. Lucky Dave, he returned home and all the unpacking had already been done!   

Our cute little place! It's perfectly situated to be about a 15 minute drive for each of us to get to work (give or take traffic), close to shopping centers, and across the street from a beautiful park. We are also right off the main street that has cute little shops and places to eat. Dave and I take a walk every night, and enjoy seeing all of the sports teams practicing at the park, in what seems to be a very active community. We can see ourselves staying here long term and raising a family! We are also 5 minutes down the road from David's brother and his wife! Another reason to love the area is that we get to see helicopters flying overhead - not as many as at Fort Rucker, but still enough to get excited about! 

Dave's Mom was a huge help to me during our second move of the summer. She even mowed our lawn! (Real world...having a lawn to mow)

 Living/dining area (not fully unpacked in this one)

My adorable and very helpful husband in the kitchen. 

Unpacked living room. It's very cozy!

Here's our bedroom. We bought our bedspread more than a year ago and I was absolutely dying to get it set up. It looks great with the bedroom set David surprised me with :)

We have a guest room, so friends and family are welcome to stay!

On one of our walks we found a church that is just down the road from our house, we decided to check it out since we were church shopping. We absolutely loved it, and are happy to have what we think will be our church home. For someone who grew up driving an hour to church on Sundays, being able to walk to church is amazing! 

First day of work! Kendall Berry, BSW! 

Now to say a few things about my new job... I love it! I had a difficult transition back to working, but it has absolutely been the best thing for me. Like they say, "For everything there is a season". I spent almost a year not working when we were in Alabama. I needed that time to relax and de-stress after burning myself out senior year of college, and being incredibly stressed all summer planning our wedding and dealing with some difficult things that happened. That time was precious, I gained back all the weight I had unintentionally lost from stress and anxiety the previous year, and I was able to focus on my new role as a wife. I cooked, cleaned, supported David while he was in a critical part of Flight School, and got to read more than thirty books! I volunteered at a senior center, but didn't need to worry about working yet. All of this was great, but I became very inactive. I didn't have a car, so I mostly stayed home, slept in late, read books, took naps, and got to be really lazy. I noticed that I didn't have much energy, and I didn't want to do anything when Dave got home from school either. I honestly thought there was something wrong with me that made me feel so tired and antisocial (there was! it's called inactivity!). I worried that I wouldn't be able to work because I was so tired all the time!  I've discovered that attitude and environment are everything!

I started my new job in July- Social Worker at a nursing home in Harrisburg. The first several weeks my body hated me. It was used to sleeping in, naps and lounging around. I felt sick, and tired for a few weeks. My heart rate felt like it was constantly elevated because just walking around all day was exertion for a body that was used to being at rest. But my body adjusted! I started coming home with more energy than I ever had after a day of relaxing! I spend my day on my feet running back and forth between my Dementia/Alzheimer's floor, and my Long Term Care floor. I'm surrounded by great people. I make an effort to be positive and smile when I am at work, and listen to positive and uplifting music on my commutes. This has made a night and day difference for me - now that I am active, positive, smiling, doing something meaningful, and being mentally stimulated - I feel like myself again! I haven't felt so wonderful in at least a year, and I feel so incredibly happy and blessed to be back to the positive mindset I've always had. 

The real world is definitely a little scary. This is my first real job, and I am slowly figuring out what I am doing. Sure, I have a degree, but there are so many job specific things that I am learning. I can't wait till I feel like I am on top of my work responsibilities! Dave has been a huge help. He has a sporadic flying schedule, so he has been supporting me by making me breakfast in the morning (I am NOT a morning person), and getting dinner started before I get home. With my new-found energy we have been a lot more spontaneous with our free time too! 

 We went on a trip to Memorial Lake on base to watch the sunset one evening. 

 Last night we met David's parents at their camp site at Gifford Pinchot State park for a camp fire, Mountain Pies, S'mores and a nice relaxing evening with family. 

 See the Mountain Pie maker in the coals?

Dave is super excited about Mountain Pies!

We are coming up on our ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!! Stay tuned!

This Summer flew by! As the mornings have gotten chillier, I am remembering that this is the North, and I will have to deal with a Norther winter soon :( Good thing Fall comes first. I can totally get into sweater and boots season!